Prime: A Bad Boy Romance Read online

  “Are you okay?” he asks us both. “You were in there for like, a long time.”

  “It’s difficult to adjust”, I say. “People keep staring at us like we’ve crawled in here from some cardboard box in the street. We’re okay. You don’t have to hang around. You must be dying to get back to your own life.”

  I don't really want him to go, but I don’t want him to know that either.

  “Daytime TV and washing clothes?” he says, his eyebrow raised.

  “You could come and meet grandpa”, Jessica says. “Mommy says that’s where we’re going.”

  “I promised”, Jaxon says. “It’s not really a completed mission if I don’t.”

  “I should call him”, I say, suddenly thinking about it.

  “He knows we’re on our way”, Jaxon says. “I called him while you were mentally preparing yourself a second ago.” He takes his cell phone out of his pocket and hands it over to me. “Call him again if you like.”

  I shake my head. “It’ll probably be better to do it all in person.”

  “Okay”, Jaxon says. “I didn’t tell him about Jessica by the way, I figured you’d want to do it yourself.”

  “Thank you.”

  We head outside and flag a cab down and on the way into the city, Jessica can’t stop craning her head to look at things.

  “Not much has changed”, I say, taking it all in bit by bit.

  “Not here it hasn’t”, Jaxon says. “All the change seems to have happened at your end.”

  “Been away long?” the driver asks, his eyes all over me in the rear view mirror.

  “A few years”, I say, not all that keen on getting into a conversation. I only do because he’s not native. I’d guess latin American, maybe Mexican but not from the city.

  He nods in a kind of understanding way. “Some things change quickly if you’re not around to look at them”, he says philosophically. “Other things seem like they don’t change at all.”

  He pauses dramatically, the second of silence he inserts between his sentences almost professionally placed. “Sometimes it’s just the person that has changed, not the thing they are looking at.”

  We cross the harbour and drive through the city because I tell the driver I want Jessica to see it, and not because I want to delay my arrival for as long as I can, and while we pass through a city I grew up around, memories come flooding back to me like sea shells on an early morning tide. Jessica seems to be dumbstruck by the difference between the two cultures while Jaxon and I look out of our opposing windows at the world go by, in quiet, pensive reflection.

  There are bars I used to drink in, streets I used to walk down, restaurants Jaxon and I used to eat in, none of which I had any intention of seeing again. We leave the swell of the city behind us and head south, around Franklin Zoo Park, on through Mattapan and Milton, Blue Hills Reservation and the Great Pond and onto Dad’s house - the house I grew up in, the house Jaxon and I once fucked in when Dad was away on vacation, the house I never thought I’d ever be coming back to.

  The driver pulls up outside and kills the engine. We’re here, home, if that’s what you can call it, and I can’t even bring myself to unbuckle the seat belt and get out of the car.

  “Take as long as you want”, the driver says kindly, perhaps noting my predicament. “It’s not easy coming home.”

  From the car window I see the front door open, Dad rush out onto the lawn and stop abruptly as our eyes meet, frozen in panic at what to do. It wasn’t just Jaxon that I wanted to get away from all those years ago, and I did so without the conversation Dad and I should have had to reconcile things. Just look at me now, I think, the queen of running away from her problems, all of them back at once to bite her.

  “Is that grandpa?” Jessica asks.

  “Yes”, I say and finally open the door. “Let’s go and say hello.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  Six days, twenty two hours and sixteen minutes later...

  Jaxon

  I can’t help but smile as I hear the car slow down to a crawl behind me, the whirr of the engine cooling absolutely distinct.

  She pulls up alongside, window wound down, dark glasses covering what’s left of the bruising, as she chews her lip and looks me up and down.

  “Don’t stop on my account”, she says, car crawling alongside me now, matching my pace.

  I stop after a while and Ruby stops with me. “Give me a ride?” I ask.

  Ruby fakes a second to think. She looks around at the empty seats and then back up at me. Finally she tips her glasses and looks out over the rims and up at me. “I don’t know if I’ve got enough space.”

  I look away and then back at her, my smile as wide as ever. “You know you’re cutting it fine”, I say.

  Ruby shrugs. “I told you you weren’t going to win me over like that.”

  A handful of seconds pass, nothing but my breathing regulating itself again, the chirp of the birds calling at the sway of a breeze rushing through the treetops. “It’s good to see you”, I say.

  Ruby smiles. “Get in”, she says. “You might as well show me where you live.”

  ***

  The swelling has eased into bruising which seems to have already worked its way through the initial cycle. There is a cut on her cheek I hadn’t noticed before and darkness under one of her eyes, but apart from that, she looks like a completely different woman. Calm, rested, content.

  “Coffee or something stronger?” I ask.

  “Coffee”, Ruby says with a smile. “Let’s start with that.”

  I go to the kitchen to make it, while Ruby makes herself at home. “So this is where you’ve holed yourself up”, she says. “I never saw you as a country boy.”

  “I like the peace and quiet”, I say.

  “Don’t get bored?” Ruby asks.

  “You get used to it.”

  The smell of freshly brewed coffee filters through the house. “Still black?” I ask her.

  “Some things don’t change.”

  We sit on the sofa together, side by side, turned into each other. “So, how’s it going?” I ask her.

  Ruby cradles her coffee, bringing it close to her mouth but not drinking it. She shrugs. “Dad and Jessica are getting on”, she says. “He’s happier than I’ve ever seen him.”

  “That’s good”, I say. “And how about you?”

  “It’s going to take some time”, she says, “to adjust to everything. I’m fine for now. Dad and I are-”, she pauses, perhaps to change the word, perhaps to prepare herself for saying it, “coping”, she decides upon.

  “You look good”, I say. “Less war refugee more MMA.”

  Ruby puts down her coffee without taking a sip. “I wanted to apologize”, she says.

  “Oh?”

  “For being a dick.”

  “O-kay.”

  “Seriously, Jaxon”, she says. “I’ve been thinking, you know, about us, about what happened, about the last four years and the last week and Jessica.”

  “Be straight with me”, I say, my face stern. “It’s the lifestyle, right? You just can’t resist a bad boy.”

  Ruby gives me a disapproving look. “I thought you were retired”, she says.

  “I am retired”, I say. “You think people who have to work forty hours a week know how to make coffee this good?”

  “It is good coffee”, Ruby admits.

  “You should try some of my cooking”, I say. “I make a pretty mean curry for one, I could adjust for two of you were interested.”

  “You’re unbelievable”, Ruby says. “I think you’ve got even cockier than when we were together.”

  I shake my head. “You wait until you try the curry.”

  “Anyway”, Ruby says. “I was in the middle of an apology.”

  “Go on.”

  Ruby takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Jaxon, I shouldn’t have left you without saying goodbye, or at least trying to talk to you about it. I’m sorry that I let my fear about losing you c
ontrol my actions and result in me losing you for real.”

  I’m about to speak but Ruby cuts me off. “Please”, she says, and I let her continue. “I should have told you about Jessica, that was wrong of me and I hope you can find a way to forgive me for losing out on the first four years of her life.”

  “The dirty diapers, the sleepless nights, the potty training, the endless screaming”, I say.

  “Her first smile, her first word, the day she worked out how to crawl and then the day she spent an entire morning trying to stand up. You’ll never get that back, and I’m sorry.”

  “It’s okay”, I tell her, “I forgive you. I’m not really one of these people that hold grudges, I’m just happy I get to see you again, and I can’t tell you how happy I am to know I have a daughter. Sure, I would have loved to have experienced all of those things with both of you, but I understand what you must have been going through, even if I don’t necessarily agree with you.”

  Ruby smiles. “Thank you”, she says. “Seriously, Jaxon, thank you for being so understanding. I’m not sure I could do the same if the situation were reversed.”

  “What good would it do for me to blame you or hate you, or resent you? You made a choice, which made the last four years the way they were, but you’ve got another chance now to make a different choice now.”

  “How did you get so wise?”

  “Daytime TV”, I say. “Seriously. Some of these chat shows they put on are really insightful.”

  I’m bullshitting and she knows it, but it doesn’t matter.

  “I told Jessica”, she says. “You know what she said to me?”

  “Go on.”

  “She said, ‘does that mean he’s going to come and live with us now?’”

  I can’t help but smile. “Clever kid”, I say.

  “She’s excited about seeing you again, she asks about you every day.”

  “Well, now that you know where I live”, I say.

  Ruby sips at her coffee thoughtfully. “I also wanted to say thank you for what you did for Rosa and Emilio.”

  “It was the best thing to do with the money”, I say. “We destroyed their house.”

  “I destroyed their house”, Ruby points out. “If it wasn’t for me, none of any of this would have happened.”

  “You were just doing your job”, I say. “You can’t blame yourself.”

  Ruby doesn’t look all that convinced. “We could have died.”

  “And thankfully we didn’t”, I say. “We get another chance. Rosa and Emilio can rebuild their lives in a brand new house, Jessica gets to grow up in the tranquil safety of the Boston suburbs and you and I get to catch up where we left off.”

  I’m trying my luck and she knows it. “And where’s that, hotshot?”

  “Did I tell you how comfortable the new bed I’ve got is?”

  Ruby laughs “Is that your new line? Now I know why you’re single.”

  I can’t help but laugh too. “I knew you’d come and look for me”, I say.

  “You did, did you?”

  I nod. “Didn’t even doubt it for a minute.”

  “You were just waiting for me to turn up?”

  “Something like that”, I say.

  “What else did you have planned for us?” Ruby asks.

  “Nothing serious”, I say. “Just taking it slow, going back to where we left off.”

  “And where was that exactly?”

  Ruby shifts in her seat, subconsciously opening her body up to me. Already pretty damn high, the sexual tension in here has just gone up another notch.

  “I’m not sure if we’ve got enough time for me to show you”, I say.

  “Try me”, Ruby says confidently.

  I shift along the sofa towards her. I dance my hand along her arm to the nape of her neck and pull her slowly towards me, my lips gunning for hers. Ruby feels relaxed to my touch, supple and compliant. She lets herself be moved, content to have me in control. With a whisper between our lips, our bodies so close I can taste her, I want to do nothing but steal that kiss I’ve been waiting what feels like an eternity for. Instead I say, “Ten”, and pull away from her.

  Ruby cocks her head like an inquisitive dog and chews her lip. I slide away from the sofa. “Nine”, I say.

  Now Ruby’s shaking her head. I take off my T-shirt, drape it over my shoulder and turn my back. “Eight.”

  “I’ll get in the car”, she says.

  She won’t and both of us know it. “Seven”, I say, already at the foot of the stairs.

  “I’m not going to follow you.”

  I can hear the attempt at defiance in her voice, the inability to hide desire. There’s only one reason she’s driven over here, only one reason I’m going to make her beg me for it.

  “Six”, I say, half way up the stairs now.

  I hear Ruby peel herself off the sofa and come to watch me ascend. “This isn’t going to work.”

  “Five”, I say, and disappear around the corner. “Four.”

  I’m lying on the bed when Ruby makes her way up the stairs and stands in the door frame watching me.

  “Three”, I say.

  “What happens if you get to zero and I’m not in there with you?”

  “Two”, I say.

  Ruby laughs. She looks away and then back again as though searching for advice from a divine source.

  “One”, I say challengingly.

  “You’re an asshole”, Ruby says, kicking her shoes off. “An absolute asshole.”

  I shrug, my mouth wrapped around the word.

  “Don’t say it”, Ruby says, her hand in the air, her jeans already unbuttoned enough I can see the color of her panties. “I admit it.”

  “Go on”, I say.

  Ruby shakes her head. “You better make this worth it, four years is a long time to catch up on.”

  She slips out of her jeans and crawls onto the bed, even sexier than I remember her. “That depends on how long you’ve got”, I say, pulling her towards me.

  “Zero”, Ruby says, straddling me and locking my hands into the mattress. She leans forward and steals that kiss, her lips moist with desire. After nowhere near enough time, she pulls away, her pupils dilating quickly, my heart skipping a beat.

  “I hope no one’s expecting you”, I say, fighting to pull her back into me.

  Ruby giggles as she holds me off. “Why, are you going to show me what I’ve been missing out on?”

  “I’m going to show you what the rest of your life is going to be like”, I say, finally wrestling my way out from under her and turning her over against the bed.

  Ruby holds her knees up playfully, pressing them into my chest. After a while she relaxes and lets me fold myself inside her. I practically rip her T-shirt off, to line her belly with kisses.

  “You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this for”, I say.

  “Four years”, Ruby says, “Eleven months, twelve days, fourteen hours, six minutes and twenty nine seconds, give or take. Not that I’ve been counting.”

  I smile and kiss along the line of her panties, desperate to pull them off her. Four years, eleven months ago was when she left. I’m just about to slip my fingers inside the fabric when Ruby stops me. “You”, she says, her breathing already heavy. “There.” She points to the end of the bed. “I want to see you strip for me. I want to enjoy every single moment of you.”

  “Okay”, I say, drawing away from her slowly. “But promise me one thing first.”

  “Shoot”, Ruby says.

  “When this is over, whatever this is, a catch-up, a reunion, a replay, or the start of something special, promise me that if you want to run away, or you never want it to happen again, that you tell me first. I may be big and strong on the outside, but this is a big fucking deal for me, and I want you to bear that in mind before we go into this.”

  Ruby chews her lip and takes me in, her eyes roaming all over my body. “You’re cute when you’re vulnerable”, she says. “Almost as cute as
when you’re pretending not to be.”

  “Is that a yes?” I ask.

  “Yes”, Ruby says. “Now take off those clothes and show me your body properly, I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed it.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Ruby

  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined this happening. Tearing myself away from Jaxon was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but in that moment, it felt like the only choice. I couldn’t stay and risk the pain of losing him, so I took myself away before I got too close, and then blamed him for forcing me to go.

  The reason I’m back here now, after spending the best part of the last five years trying to forget I ever knew him, is because I’ve realized that I have a second chance with the one person in the world that completes me. I need this, and I’ve missed him more than I thought I had the strength to handle. I don’t know what I would have done if he hadn’t come to Mexico to rescue me, because now that I’m back with him, and this isn’t just a distant dream or a hazy memory, I can’t think of anything that has the power to pull me away.

  I know we’ve got gaps in our history, we’ve got almost five years of separation and we’ve got a hell of a lot to talk about, but being with Jaxon makes me feel like I never went away at all.

  I don’t know what he wants or even what I want, or how this thing will even work, if it’s a thing at all, all I know for certain is that there is nowhere else in the world I’d rather be right now.

  Jaxon strips at the foot of the bed, each item of clothing he removes swung above his head and launched randomly to somewhere in the room. A sock hits the window and slides to a halt on the radiator, his pants bunch up near the desk in the corner, one leg caught for a moment on the back of his office chair, before the weight pulls it down like the tail of a kite dipping in the wind. He poses, muscles flexing in nothing but his boxer shorts, before he whips those off too, one hand covering as much of his huge cock as it can, while I peak out theatrically through a gap in my fingers. Not only is Jaxon the sexiest man on this earth, he’s also the only person I’ve ever met who can make me laugh so hard I feel like it’ll never stop. He’s cocky and confident, but self deprecating too, which for me is an ideal combination. His boxer shorts do a seven hundred and twenty degree turn in the air, before landing on the pillow next to me. Jaxon stands proudly, hands cupping his dick.