Obsession: A Twin Menage Romance Page 8

  “I don’t know, Al, that might seem a little weird.”

  “It’s less weird that saying, ‘Hey Logan, I can’t decide between you and your brother, despite not knowing either of you that well, do you guys mind sharing me in an x-rated threeway?’ And I’ve got a car remember, we’ve just crushed yours.”

  “Do you really think that could work?” I ask.

  “It depends on a number of things. How open he is to double dating, how good his relationship with Jack is, whether he even remembers you from the other day”, Alice says.

  “Don’t say that, you’re giving me doubts.”

  “It’ll work”, Alice sounds confidently. “There’s less pressure like that, and Jack and you already know each other.”

  “That might make him jealous”, I argue.

  Alice sighs again. “You can’t have it both ways”, she says. “Either you follow your heart, and believe that this is meant to be, with both of them, or you follow your head and be sensible, call Logan and forget all about Jack, which is exactly what I would do. You’ve waited so long to meet a decent guy, I really don’t want you to fuck it up.”

  “Thanks, Alice, that means a lot.”

  “And remember, you barely know either of these two men. They could be assholes for all you know, players, pricks or pathetic losers. Get to know them both if you can, just one of them if you can’t, don’t fall head over heels in love straight away and don’t let either one of them hurt you. I’ve picked up the pieces before, and I’ll pick them up again if I need to but it hurts me more than I can even express to see such an amazing person like you being taken advantage of.”

  “I’ll be careful”, I say. “I promise.”

  Alice doesn’t look convinced, and I understand why. If what I feel now is any indication of where this could end up, I might not recover at all if it doesn’t turn out exactly how I want. I wish I could settle for one, but now I’ve seen them both, I know that just half of the pair is never going to be enough to satisfy me.

  That night, after several hours of quiet contemplation, I enter Logan’s cell phone number into my phone. It takes me another hour and a half to build up the courage to connect the call.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Pacing is not going to help you”, Alice says.

  “I like pacing”, I say. “It makes me feel normal. Sherlock Holmes paces, Poiret loved to pace. Even Ironman sees the benefit.”

  “None of those people are real, Penny.”

  “How can you be so calm?” I say.

  “Because there is nothing to worry about, that’s why. I’ll be there, you can chill out. Just be yourself.”

  “If I’m myself”, I argue, “I’m going to scare them both off. I had to practically sit on my hands during the interview with Jack to stop myself from tapping away.”

  “It’s never bothered you before”, Alice says.

  “It’s never been as important before”, I say. “This is probably the most important moment of my entire life.”

  “If it’s meant to be”, Alice reminds me, “Then they’ll love you for who you really are, obsessions and all.”

  “And if they don’t?”

  “Then it’s not meant to be. It’s as simple as that.”

  I don’t know why I’m so worked up. Alright, that’s a lie, I know exactly why I’m so worked up. Twins. The sexiest man I have ever seen in my life, doubled. If that’s not enough to get a sweat on about, one of them also happens to be my future boss, the man in prime position to guide my potential dream career, while the other does the kind of things I always fantasized about doing myself. I could not be more excited about what’s about to happen, and the more excited I get about it the more nervous I become too. With nerves come ticks and with ticks come the kind of OCD behaviors that people get locked up and subjected to electric shock therapy for. This is a huge deal, a massive deal, a make or break my future deal and I’m finding the whole thing really overwhelming.

  Logan was a sweetheart on the phone, while I bumbled through our conversation like an alzheimer sufferer bumbles through a family meeting, and the last thing I want to do is disappoint him.

  A superhero needs a worthwhile love interest and right now, I’m not sure I’m anywhere near qualified. Mary Jane Watson, Lois Lane and even Cinderella all have strong attributes that complement their leading men and offer something important that even the most resilient of those men will eventually admit to needing. I have a secret erotic drawing obsession and mild to extreme OCD, depending on the situation. Who’s going to need that?

  “I should have told him”, I say. “I could have warned him in advance.”

  “If he saw you for any length of time before giving you his cell phone number in the first place, he probably already knows”, Alice argues.

  “He didn’t say anything on the phone.”

  “Come on, Penny. You’re overthinking this. Who’s going to bring something like that up over the phone if you don’t mention it first? It might be why he likes you.”

  I stop to widen my eyes at her, before breaking back into a steady pace.

  “He could have any girl he wants”, I say.

  “And he waited for you to call him. Not every man would do that, which has got to tell you something. He also has a very close relationship with Jack and he didn’t seem at all bothered that you suggested he came along too.”

  “He wasn’t”, I admit. “He liked the idea.”

  “Well then.”

  Alice catches my wrist as I swing past her, dragging me down into the couch with a nifty pull.

  “Stop pacing”, she says. “It’s not going to help.”

  “It might”, I suggest.

  Alice shakes her head. “It won’t, believe me. Pacing didn’t help Poiret solve the crime, the facts took him to that conclusion. We don’t have a crime here, but we can make an assumption based on the facts we have. Logan was delighted to hear from you, and he was excited about meeting you tonight.”

  “Very excited”, I say.

  “Then let him do just that”, Alice says. “Let him get to know the real you. The amazing, creative, incredibly talented Penny. The person that is proud of the erotic drawings she scribbles onto the walls of restrooms and subway stations, and is not embarrassed to admit that she sometimes likes to check she’s locked her door after leaving home, or count prime numbers in her head, or drink from two glasses instead of one. It’s not the things that we do differently to other people that make us weird, they are what make us unique. And believe me, everyone has their idiosyncrasies, I know I definitely have mine. If either of those sexy superhero HD twins have an issue, I’m the first one they’re going to have to deal with, okay?”

  I nod. I don’t know what to say. Alice has proved again that she knows exactly what to say to calm me down. “Thanks, Alice”, I finally settle on. “I’d be lost without you.”

  “You’d still be pacing without me.”

  “I think I’m done with pacing for now.”

  “Thank God for that, you were making me dizzy”, Alice says.

  “I got a bit worked up”, I admit.

  Alice takes my hand. “Are you calmer now?”

  “Definitely calmer.”

  “Good. Now go and get ready before I start to panic, you can’t turn up in your pajamas after all, that would be way too suggestive.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I’ve had a handful of first date experiences in my life, all but one of which were absolutely disastrous. The one time where I didn’t have to escape, or have someone escape from me was with Casper, and we all know how that one turned out. We have decided to meet in a bar, which suits my economic status way better than a sit down meal, and it means if something does go horribly wrong, it shouldn’t be too difficult to flee.

  Before Alice and I leave the house, dressed up but not overstated, I have to have a double shot of bourbon just to calm my nerves.

  “Remember you’re not on trial”, Alice says, offering a
few final words of encouragement, but to be fair, I would have chosen a different outfit if I was. I’ve gone for an outfit that best represents me, which might not communicate my intentions as much as something else might, but definitely doesn’t devalue me either.

  After all, as open as I might be to a dirty as hell, butt-clenching, multiple-orgasmic, screaming-the-windows-out-of-their-frames menage on a first date, I still want to come across as classy.

  I do have my best panties on, though, just in case. A girl has to be prepared for all eventualities after all.

  “And no sex either”, Alice says, at the virtual precipice of my immediate future, thus stomping all over that possibility. “Make them leave wanting it tonight, and the next time will be like a thunder storm in a firework’s factory.”

  We’re outside the bar, late enough that it’s inevitable they’ll already be inside, and far too committed to turn back now.

  “Are you ready?” Alice asks.

  I checked the front door of the apartment six times before we were finally able to leave. After getting here, and the reason that we are now much later to arrive than expected, I had to get Alice to go all the way back home again to check I hadn’t left on the gas. In the ten years or so my OCD has developed into something more than an inconvenience, I’ve never had it as bad as it is right now. Of course I’m not prepared. There is no amount of sexy panties, Avengers T-shirts, nail polish or forbidden desires so hot they’d melt Superman’s morning boner that would make me feel ready, but I’m here now, I’m doing this and there is no way that I’m going to let my inner voice convince me otherwise.

  Inside this bar, there are two identical looking men perfect in every way for me, and my mission tonight is to make sure they both want to take me home. I just hope I know which one is which.

  “No”, I say.

  “Good”, Alice says. “That means you know this is real.”

  I take a deep breath, think of the largest, palindromic prime number I can remember and then follow Alice through the heavy swing doors that separate me from my destiny, and onward into the heat of battle.

  I imagine patrons to be patrolmen, standing guard at the border that separates two countries at war, ready to scrutinize my papers and not only deny my request to pass through but stand me up against a firing squad for even thinking about deceiving them. Innocuous glances turn into suspicious looks as Alice and I advance towards the centre of my invented showpiece, in order to get a better look at the hidden corners of the gargantuan bar, where Jack and Logan are undoubtedly sat.

  I’m literally terrified, but pretending I’m a double agent trying to smuggle secrets out of one country and into another, where my lovers have been waiting years for my return, under the pain of death if anyone gets a whiff of my plans, seems to make the whole thing a lot easier to take.

  I know this is Brooklyn not Checkpoint Charlie, and I’m Penny Breen not Ellen Rometsch but I can’t help but imagine a suitable scenario to make the reality of what I’m actually doing here, way easier to take. Trying to get from one side of Berlin to the other would be a piece of cake compared to walking through a packed bar looking for two versions of exactly the same man, unsure whether you’re likely to see them first, or the other way round, and what the hell you might do if they didn’t recognize you.

  That sinking feeling of self doubt comes in waves as Alice and I side-step, zig-zag and push our way through the gathered crowd, the more time that passes before we make contact, more time for me to worry about what might happen when we finally do.

  Eventually, when I’m beginning to doubt if they are here at all, I see both twins smiling at me in synchronization, a look of solidarity shared amongst them equally that can mean only one thing: they’ve been watching me all this time without me even realizing it.

  Seeing them there, shining like a pair of suns breaking through the grey thickness of a rain cloud, I can’t help but stop dead in my tracks like a racehorse refusing the final jump.

  Alice pulls up alongside me, her eyes as big as dinner plates and fixed on the incredible pair.

  “Fucking hell”, she says, loud enough for the entire bar to hear it.

  “Yep”, I simper. “That’s them.”

  We approach the table slowly, holding onto each other for support, in case the sheer beauty of these two might be enough on it’s own to literally knock us off our feet.

  “Hi, Penny”, Jack says, the first to rise from the table to greet me.

  At the interview it was a firm handshake and a designer suit, here it’s casual clothes and a double kiss, just how I like them. He’s clean shaven with a hint of stubble, and he smells so good I can’t help but picture long Saturday afternoons curled up in bed, which makes me hold onto him for way longer than I know I should.

  When I finally let him go, I feel like I’ve been standing too close to a bonfire. My cheeks are red, my chest is rosy and my belly feels like a furnace. Thankfully everyone’s too busy saying hello to pay any attention, and while Jack introduces himself to Alice, Logan comes over to me.

  Not to be outdone by his brother, Logan pulls me into him, gives me a solid kiss on each cheek and a strong squeeze just for good measure. When he’s done, not only do I feel dizzy, I’m practically burning up.

  “I’m so glad you called”, he says.

  “Me too”, I say, trying to pretend he hasn’t just melted my panties.

  “It’s nice to finally do this properly.”

  Any hotter and I’m going to explode. How am I going to get through this evening without rushing to the restroom every five minutes to calm my nerves, splash water on my face to cool myself down and distract myself by scribbling my fantasies out on the wall? There’s only so much one woman can take, after all.

  With the introductions complete, we sit down around the table, the semi-circular seat such that we’re all pretty much sat on the same side, myself between Jack and Logan, while Alice and Jack take the flanks. I am literally wedged in, each side of my body in contact with one of these two twins, and I wouldn’t be anywhere else in the world for all the money you could pay me.

  Alice looks just as awestruck as I am, choosing to position herself as close to Logan as possible, despite there being a sufficient amount of space on the other side of her for them both to sit comfortably without touching. I don’t blame her at all, though. That’s exactly what I’d be doing if the situation were reversed.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t call earlier. I wanted to”, I say to Logan.

  “That’s okay”, Logan says. “I just figured you weren’t all that interested. It was kind of a weird thing to do, appear out of nowhere, give you my number and disappear again without saying anything else.”

  “I thought it was cool”, I admit. “I was gutted when I thought I’d never see you again. And then I did, or at least I thought I did, when Jack walked into the office to interview me.”

  “That must have been weird”, Jack says.

  “And disappointing”, Logan adds. “When you found out he was essentially an inferior version of me.”

  Jack can’t help but laugh. “Always compensating”, he says. “You’ll have to get used to that.”

  “I didn’t know he wasn’t you”, I say, “that was what was so weird. I thought he was pretending not to know me, or, even worse, that he’d forgotten what I looked like.”

  “I wouldn’t forget what you look like”, Logan says.

  “And I wouldn’t do that”, Jack adds quickly. “But we’d never met before, so I didn’t know you thought we had.”

  “I have a question”, Alice says, her hand in the air. “You guys are, like, exactly the same as each other. You know, for all intents and purposes, identical. If you both disappeared for a moment and then came back I wouldn’t know who was who, which could be a bit embarrassing. How are we meant to tell you apart?”

  “I’m the attractive one”, Logan says without hesitation. “And the most intelligent.”

  “If this were a film,
and you had to shoot the cyborg version”, Jack says confidently, “You always shoot the one that speaks first. And you’ll notice it’s usually to talk themselves up too.”

  Logan’s shaking his head. “In every film I’ve ever seen, the first person to talk is the real twin. When your life’s in danger, humans are always faster than robots”, he says.

  “It’s easier than that”, I cut in, this kind of conversation my bread and butter, “but you have to know what you’re looking for. We’re not trying to distinguish between a real version and a copy here, we’re trying to distinguish between two copies of something real. You can’t just look for something human in that case, you have to look for something specifically human for each character.”

  “Sherlock Holmes it”, Alice says, excitedly.

  “Exactly. Jack and Logan may look exactly the same to the casual observer, but there are a million different things that are specific to them that make them stand out as different people. It’s those subtle differences specifically that make them unique as individuals.”

  “Such as?” Logan says.

  “I don’t know yet”, I beam. “I haven’t had long enough to observe you both.”

  “Our mother still gets us mixed up”, Jack says. “And she’s had a quarter of a century. It would take someone very special to know how to do it without making an error.”

  “Penny has some weird talents, believe me”, Alice says. “It probably wouldn’t take her all that long in your company.”

  “Well, if her powers of observation are anything like her drawings”, Jack says, “then she’ll probably be able to tell us apart by the end of the evening.”

  I’m not exactly sure which drawing Jack’s referring to but my mind’s so close to an orgasmic menage anyway, it goes there naturally.

  “Jack told me your drawings were amazing”, Logan says excitedly. “I’d love to see some of your work some day.”

  “I don’t know if amazing is the right word”, I say modestly. “I do get a kick out of it, though.”

  “What kind of stuff do you do?” Logan asks.