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“And...you were so nice to me. You flirted with me and laughed and I pretended that you would have done the same if you knew it was me.”
He cleared his throat. “Do you remember that New Year’s Eve party?” he asked.
“My god! Do I remember it? I think about it all the time!”
“So do I, and I’m so sorry.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“For what I did that night, of course!” he said. “It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done.”
“But...I was glad it happened, I wasn’t sorry. I was just miserable when I found out you left.”
“That was the only thing I did right! I mean, that wasn’t right either, but it kept me from being even worse.”
“You don’t get it. You used me as a plaything and then abandoned me!”
He winced, but said, “I can understand that you see it that way. But my god, you were so young. You were still in high school.”
“So? I was eighteen!”
“And I was twenty-five! The same age you are now. Are you hanging around the local high schools, looking for a boyfriend?”
I sighed. “Of course not.”
“It was just...I wanted you so much, thought about you so much, and that night...I couldn’t stop myself. Thank god my dad interrupted us!”
“That’s not how I felt!”
He got up and walked to the window, raking both hands through his hair as he went. He turned back to me and said, “I took advantage of a sweet young girl! I didn’t sleep all night. Just sobered up and drove back to school. And Casey, I thought of you every day, I wanted to see you so bad, but I knew that if I did? I might not be able to stop myself again.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me that. It would have changed everything.”
“I almost…abused you. What was I gonna say? Sorry I practically raped you?” He laughed, but there was no humor in it.
I got up and followed him to the window. I simply had to be beside him. “Couldn’t you tell that I wanted you, too?”
“It didn’t matter. You weren’t legally underage, but morally? Wrong, wrong, wrong.”
“I thought…. I was sure that I’d disgusted you, that I was good enough when you were drunk, but sober? Like once you got a good look at me, you ran.” I took a deep, shuddery breath. “And then at that blind date…I kept thinking you would recognize me, that you would look at me and say, ‘Oh yeah, her.’ And you never did! And the longer it went on without you noticing, the more I knew--” Shit, I was going to cry. Might as well face it. “The more I realized that you never really looked at me before, when we were younger. That you never really cared.”
He was very quiet.
In my head, I screamed ‘Say something,’ but for the longest time, he just sat there and peered into my face.
Finally, he said, “You really have no idea how different you look, do you?”
“Uh. I don’t know.”
“Look,” he said. He took out his wallet, and carefully removed a folded piece of paper and handed it to me.
It was a card, my high school graduation invitation. My mom had sent it to him, and he’d never answered. Of course he didn’t come. The card, which had been white, was yellowed and dirty. The edges were soft and frayed, with bent, rounded corners. It had clearly been handled a great deal. I opened the card. Inside was an old picture of me. It wasn’t my graduation picture; it was a snapshot Mick had taken of me. I remembered that we’d been on a picnic and he’d just bought a new camera. I was laughing at something he’d said, my face soft and open, looking at the camera. I looked madly in love and deliriously happy. Which I had been. But I looked nothing like I did now. My hair was very short then, and light brown, not long and dark red, and losing weight had completely changed the shape of my face. I had contact lenses now. I hadn’t looked at an old picture of myself in years, and the difference was shocking.
I handed it back to him, and he gently tucked it into his wallet.
“Why did you bring that?” I said.
“I always carry it,” he said. “I guess I look at it almost every day.”
“Why?” came out of my mouth like a croak.
He looked at me and the moment stretched out. Then he said, “I think about you all the time.”
Our eyes were locked together. Outside my open window, a bird began to sing, “Chee, chee, chee!”
Without looking away from my face, Mick reached for my hand. He caressed my palm, and we twined our fingers together. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it, gently, tentatively, like my hand was that bird outside and he didn’t want to scare it away.
My heart was beating wildly. It was as if little explosions were happening in my chest. He kept kissing my hand, more firmly now. The bird wasn’t going anywhere. With my other hand I caressed the side of his face, feeling the roughness of his unshaven cheeks and reveling in it. This was real. The real Mick saw me, the real me. And I knew the real him.
He pulled me to him with both hands and our bodies crashed together. He was kissing me, cheeks, eyes, ear. “My god, Casey, I can’t believe this is really happening. All these years!” And then his mouth found my mouth and I didn’t have to talk.
His kiss was rough this time. No finesse, no practiced caress of tongue and lips. Just real. Raw. Him and me and our need for each other. He held the back of my head and pressed me to him, plunged his tongue into my mouth and took it over.
He broke the kiss and looked into my eyes. “Casey. Kathy. Casey. Please—”
“Yes!” I couldn’t get the word out fast enough.
His mouth found mine again, and we swirled into another delirious kiss. His hands were busy with the buttons on his shirt, and then it was off of him, on the floor somewhere. I was half-senseless with desire, and plucked ineffectually at the buttons of the old pajama top I was wearing. He tried to help for a minute, but then ripped the old shirt from my shoulders. I had slept braless of course, so now we were both naked from the waist up.
I broke the kiss so I could look at him, at his broad shoulders thick with muscle, his solid, sculpted chest. He was like a wall of strength. He took in the view of my upper body as well, and slid his hands down my sides until he was holding my ass. He lifted me up, and turned me so my back was to the wall. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he pushed me into the wall. I plunged my hands into his rich, dark hair, and pulled him to me for another kiss. I could not believe the strength of my desire for this man. I had dreamed of him, yearned for him, and now here he was in my arms. Our bodies were grinding together, hips moving of their own volition. I was only wearing thin cotton pajama bottoms, and I could feel the long hard ridge of Mick’s erect cock between my open legs. He thrust against me over and over, making waves of pleasure wash through my body.
He kissed my neck, and said, “Casey, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. My dream of Kathy came true in you.” He kissed lower, onto my shoulder. “Say you’ll stay with me. I need you so bad.”
I was breathless, and could only whisper, “I will.”
He smiled then, and wrapped his arms around me and carried me, with my legs still wrapped around his waist, into my bedroom, where we’d never been together.
“Oh good, you have a bed,” he said, “I was afraid it would be a pile of straw.” Then we fell onto it together, me still wrapped around him. He got up long enough to take off his jeans, and I used the opportunity to wiggle out of my pajama bottoms. I could tell how wet I was, and that plus the feeling of being naked in front of Mick, drove home the realization that this was real, that I was about to make love with my stepbrother.
I waited for him to get back on the bed, to leap onto me like a cat, but for a minute he just stood there and really looked at me. Then he knelt beside the bed. “So beautiful,” he breathed. He leaned over me and kissed me gently while his hands trailed caresses down the length of my body.
I shivered, barely able to stand any delay in satisfying my need to have h
im inside me. “Please,” I whispered.
“Please, what? Please do this?” he said and pulled my nipple into his mouth. His other hand tugged and lightly pinched the other nipple while he sucked hard. The feeling shot straight through me, right to my center. I made a noise, not a word. I was past speaking.
Mick wasn’t. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He sucked and pinched a little more, but then let go. “Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe it was this you were asking for.” He moved to the foot of the bed and climbed up. He quickly, almost roughly, spread my legs, and then his face was inches away from my open folds. With one finger, he outlined the edge of my pussy, where the regular skin turns pink.
This drove me crazy. It was enough stimulation to make me hotter, but not enough to satisfy. “Please,” I said again. It seemed to be the only word I could say.
Without warning, he pushed one finger deep inside me. I saw his eyes open wider, his mouth go round. He wasn’t kidding around any more. “You’re so wet!” he said. All at once, he put his mouth on my clit. His tongue went to work, rubbing firmly and rapidly right on the most sensitive part. His finger inside me pressed up, hard against my pubic bone.
Helplessly, I burst right through into shuddering orgasm. Spasms racked my body for long moments.
As the feeling ebbed, Mick came up to lie beside me. When he was sure I was watching, he put his finger, the finger that had been inside me, into his mouth and sucked it clean. No one had ever done that before. “That was amazing,” he said. Then he shifted to lie between my legs.
“Wait,” I said. “I want to do you, now.”
He sat back onto his knees, and a smile grew on his face. “Really?” he said.
“Yeah. Stand up.”
He stood by the bed, and I sat on the very edge of it. This was the first chance I had to really look at his cock and I wanted to take my time. I was pretty stunned at its size, to be honest. I hadn’t been with many men, but Mick’s cock was definitely the prize winner. It was so thick, I couldn’t wrap my hand all the way around it. The head was especially large, and I worried for a minute about how this monster was going to fit in me. But I really wanted to pleasure him, so that’s what I did. I first kissed the smooth head, and made eye contact with Mick as I did so. I then licked all around the head before opening wide and taking it into my mouth. I bent low, to straighten out my throat, and took all I could. I held onto his ass, to try to push more of him into my throat, but I couldn’t take it all. No big deal though. I bobbed up and down, tucking my lips over my teeth, and poured myself into giving him pleasure. Several times he brushed the hair off my face to see what I was doing.
“Case, stop. I have to be in you.”
For an answer, I just lay back on the bed. He lay beside me and we kissed for a moment. He rolled on top of me and settled between my legs, most of his weight on his arms. We kissed deeply then, with his cock at my entrance, and me almost losing my mind from unfulfilled desire.
“I love you so,” he said. “I always have.” The tip of his cock rubbed around my pussy.
“I love you too, Mick.”
The head of his thick cock pushed against my opening. I felt a stretching, but I was so wet that it didn’t hurt much. He sank into me, deeper and deeper, and my walls were stretched tightly around him. Finally he was in all the way, and still he pushed hard. He looked into my eyes and began to thrust. The friction, the stretching and releasing, was so pleasurable it threatened to drown me. I put my arms around him.
This was Mick. This was real. I couldn’t get over it. The man I’d wished for was right here. My stepbrother’s cock was deep, deep inside me and I was happy. So happy. The pleasure and the emotion combined made my orgasm well up inside me and flow over me, drawing me up in a swirling cloud of sex and love and joy.
Mick was watching my face, and could feel me clenching around his hard cock, and he sped up, thrust harder, and then he let out a roar and drove into me deeper than I thought possible. I felt his balls spasm as he thrust one more time, and then he collapsed. His weight felt good, solid and safe, and his cock was still lodged inside me, gradually subsiding as our pleasure drained away. We kissed, soft, gentle kisses so different from the hungry ones we’d shared just moments before. In a bit he moved beside me. I curled up to him, and he put his arm around my shoulders.
“I love you, Kathy,” he said.
“Casey,” I said.
“I know. But I remember you when you were fifteen, so bright, so full of big plans and hopes for the future. I remember one day you said that people who change the world are the only true successes. I think my heart cracked in two that night.” He laughed a little. “I’ve been in love with you ever since.”
“I remember you too. God, you were so confident. I would have given anything to have that confidence.”
Now he really laughed. “Oh, Casey, it was all an act. Nobody is as confident as I pretended to be. Plus, what did I have to be confident about? I hadn’t done anything worthwhile yet. Still haven’t.”
I snuggled a little closer. Mick smelled so good, a little like wood shavings. “Suing tobacco companies is a pretty big deal.”
“They deserved it. Plus, think of all the good we can do with the money now.”
“How do you mean?”
“Once we’re married,” he said drowsily, “we can fly all around the world, figuring out how to help people. I have all that cash just sitting around.”
I sat up and faced him. “Once we’re ma—”
“You know we’re going to get married. Lie back down.”
I did lie down, facing away from him this time. He was right. I guess I did know we were going to get married. “But Mick, I don’t know. I don’t really want to live a billionaire’s life.”
He scooted over next to me and put his big arm around me from behind. We fit together like two spoons, and I could feel his soft cock give a twitch when it contacted my ass. “We don’t have to live like billionaires. We can go back to that thatch-roofed hut you had in Ethiopia, where the bathroom is a hole in the ground. How’s that sound?”
“Okay, maybe we don’t have to go that far away from the billionaire lifestyle.” I laughed. “I don’t mind luxury once in a while.”
“Good. I want to give you the moon. But I really mean it about helping people. One of the reasons I love you so much is not just because of how I felt about you before, but because you make me want to be a better man.”
I smiled and closed my eyes. Mick was warm and solid behind me. His strong arms were around me. Right here in this bed, in this cheap apartment in the bad part of town, was everything I’d ever wanted.
CHAPTER TEN
Epilogue
Mick
I climbed the stairs to our private jet right behind Casey. Even after three years of marriage, the sight of my wife’s heart-shaped ass in a pair of jeans was uplifting, if you know what I mean. But I kept my hands to myself. A day of travel, even with your own plane, was always exhausting, and I didn’t want to wear us out before the day even started.
We buckled ourselves into the cushy seats, and Casey put her head on my shoulder. I kissed her hair and looked out the window at the runways of Addis Ababa Bole Airport with the low mountains in the distance. We’d been in Ethiopia for three months this time, and I was eager to get home. I’d fallen in love with the country and its people, and the incredible natural beauty everywhere. But Casey’s various projects here were going well, and it was time to stick my head in the door of my law firm and make sure things there were up to snuff. I was lucky to have good people working for me.
Casey had a lot going on stateside as well. She was tireless as a manager from halfway around the world, and now her little non-profit was finding services for foster families all over the state. That old building I’d bought was now a gorgeous Queen Anne mansion. Casey had turned it into a place where kids who were aging out of the foster system could stay while they figured out what to do next. Except for that one apartment in the
back with the French doors. That one held fond memories for both of us, and it was her office.
She was an amazing woman. I was incredibly lucky to have her. Which is not to say we didn’t ever argue. She could hold her ground when she knew it was right. But mostly, I counted my blessings.
The jet was taxiing towards the runway, and Casey laced her fingers up with mine. If you asked her, she’d say she wasn’t afraid of flying, so I didn’t ask anymore. I just let her squeeze my hand as tightly as she wanted to when planes took off and landed. To distract her, I said, “So what’s your next big project, Case?”
“I don’t have any big projects right now.”
“No?” I was surprised. She usually was juggling ten plans at once.
“I do have a little one, though.”
“I thought you always liked to think big.”
“It’s only little right now. It will be a lot bigger soon. It’s getting bigger every day, in fact.”
I turned to her with what I’m sure was a dumb look on my face. “Don’t all projects do that? What are you talking about?”
“It’s…something inside me that will have to get out someday.”
“Well, let me know, and I’ll move some resources around.”
“I’m glad you feel that way. I’ll need you to be more involved in this one, though.”
I wasn’t always this slow, I swear. “Casey, spit it out. Whatever you need, we’ll find a way to make it happen.”
She laughed and started to hum “Rock a Bye Baby.”
I grabbed her. “No way!”
“I’m pretty sure.”
“Pretty sure? Pretty sure isn’t good enough!”
“Okay, then I’m eight-pregnancy-tests sure.”
“That is pretty sure.” I put both arms around her the best I could in the plane’s seats. “I don’t know what to say!”
“Say you’re happy?”
“Oh, yes, yes! Happy isn’t a big enough word!”
“You’re going to be the best dad ever,” she said, and looked up at me, her eyes shining.
Just then, our jet picked up speed, pushing us back a bit in our seats. I squeezed Casey a little harder but then thought, “Not too hard!” I lowered one arm until I could lay my hand over her belly. She put one hand over mine, and we stayed like that as the plane sped up, lifted off, and soared into the sky.