HUGE STEPS Read online

  I already know that they’re going to ask me to hang out with them at the diner for lunch and as much as I love the diner and know they’ll manage to take my mind off my woes without even trying, I don’t feel like leaving this store one little bit.

  “It’s lunchtime,” Jamie says wiggling his eyebrows.

  “I have this huge order in the back to do, guys. You go on without me.”

  “All work and no play makes Abi no fun,” Jared says. He’s got that bang on. Fun is about the last thing on my mind.

  “I’m not really feeling all that hungry…”

  “It’s your lunchtime, girl,” Shay says lightly, raising a brow at me. “You better get going before I have to tell Dandie that you’re not eating now. You know how she feels about not taking breaks…” Total traitor. The twins grin and my shoulders slump. They’re ganging up on me and it’s so not fair.

  “All right fine, fine, but I can’t stay for too long. I really do have a huge order to get to back there.”

  Jared nods. “No problem. Shall we?”

  As soon as we step into the diner my stomach rumbles, the sweet smell of rolls and coffee hitting me right in the face. I probably shouldn’t mention that I went without breakfast this morning.

  Sharon, our waitress, pops over with a none too subtle smile, practically drooling over Jamie and Jared as we settle into our booth. “Well hello there, fellas! Hi, Abigail! Do y’all need a minute to go over the menu or do you already know what you want?”

  I push the plastic menu away from me, smiling up at her. “I’ll just take a Caesar salad, Sharon, thanks. Oh, and a water with lemon, please?”

  Jamie snorts. “What are you, a damn rabbit? Don’t you usually get the All-Star burger?”

  My mind immediately goes to the struggle I had trying to fit into my work pants this morning. I clear my throat. “No, it’s fine. A salad is good.”

  “Really, Abi, we won’t tell anyone. How about that burger?” The corner of Jared’s smile quirks up and I can’t help but look away. Food is not my friend.

  “I’ll take the chili dog with a side of fries, oh and an extra side of those crispy onion straws, and an order of wings to go with that. Oh… And yeah, I’ll take a salad, too. With a Coke,” Jamie tells Sharon, handing her the menu with an earsplitting grin. She looks as though she’s about to keel over just by staring at them.

  “O-okay,” she stutters in response, looking absolutely dazed. “And you, Jamie?”

  “Actually… I’m Jared,” Jared replies sweetly. “I’d like to get the sampler platter, with the salad on the side. Both of us want thousand Island dressing, too, please.”

  All this talk of food is only making my stomach growl louder, and before Sharon turns away, I finally add, “I guess I will go ahead and have that All-Star burger, Sharon. Thanks.”

  As she walks away the twins start laughing at me until I join in, feeling silly.

  “You don’t need to worry about what you eat, Abi. You look good just how you are.”

  My cheeks start to flame again.

  “And you’ve been through a lot of shit this week. You just need to relax, okay.”

  Jamie’s words touch my heart and put a lump in my throat that feels like a bolder. I swallow and fuss with the cutlery in front of me, knowing that if I look up and see their gorgeous faces swamped with sympathy that I’ll probably burst into tears.

  I remember when our parents first got married, and Natalie and the two of them moved into our house. My mom had already been gone for close to ten years, so it had been a really long time since we had another woman around, and I wasn’t sure of what to expect with Jamie and Jared, either. I had been so nervous, trying to be as polite and quiet as possible. They’d had to remind me that it was my home and that I need to relax then too. It’s funny to think about that now, years later. “I guess,” I mumble, unwrapping silverware from its napkin.

  I assume they must be able to tell I’m close to tears because they immediately change the subject, filling the silence with stories from their morning. Jamie swears that he saw some kind of lizard in one of the toilets he cleared today and Jared reminds Jamie that they need to go and quote for a new job later on. It’s the kind of conversation where I only need to listen which is good because I’m feeling too drained to engage much. I glance around the restaurant, hoping that my meal will come quickly and I can get back to work and bury myself in orders.

  My stomach drops when I see a familiar face. Daniel, Cody’s friend. We’ve never really gotten along, mainly because Cody told me about all the rotten things he did behind his girlfriend’s back and, also because I got the feeling he resented the way that Cody spent so much time with me instead of his friends. Daniel doesn’t notice me right away, and takes a seat at the counter, talking with one of the cooks.

  Everything in me automatically tenses up when Sharon comes around the corner with a tray full of food for us, because Daniel’s eyes casually follow her until they land on me. The hair on my arm stands on end when his expression darkens. I can already tell he plans on saying something before Sharon finishes doling out our plates, my stomach twisting up in knots.

  Even Jared senses something’s up, and he nudges me. “Everything okay?”

  I wave him off, but when Sharon walks back behind the counter, I barely touch my food, anticipating it. I don’t want to look his way again so I fix my eyes on the burger and take a deep breath, telling myself that I’m overreacting. He has no reason to say anything. Cody was the one in the wrong and I’ve kept my mouth shut since because causing a scene or spreading gossip just isn’t my style.

  “That Cody’s friend,” Jared asks. I look up at my stepbrother and nod. His face is stoical and his eyes watchful. “He’s heading this way.”

  I can’t help turning my head to look just as Daniel starts to slowly approach our table.

  “Enjoying yourself?” His words are practically dripping with acid.

  Both the twins turn to look at him, the tension between us all thick enough to cut. “Is there a problem, man?” Jared asks.

  “Why don’t you ask Abi?” Daniel says. “Going around town, making everyone feel sorry for you just so everyone turns against Cody. That’s some amazing pity party you’re throwing for yourself.”

  My cheeks are on fire as I meet his gaze and I’m about to say something in my defense when Jamie holds his hand up. “What the fuck are you talking about,” he says, his voice menacingly quiet. “It’s Cody who screwed Abi over.”

  I glance around the diner, feeling self-conscious as the heads of some of the other diners turn in our direction.

  “You know he never wanted to marry you,” Daniel says. My heart seems to stop from the humiliation. “You just kept going on and on about it and in the end he caved.”

  “You piece of shit,” Jamie spits. I can feel his body getting ready to rise and I put my hand on his knee. Even as I’m trying to stop the situation escalating my mind is whirring. Is that really how it was? Did I hound Cody into proposing? My eyes well with humiliation. Is that what Cody is saying?

  “Cody was lucky that Abi even considered saying yes and she’s damn lucky that he proved himself unworthy,” Jared says. “She’s had a lucky escape.”

  Daniel laughs loudly and it’s this that sets off the twins.

  Both Jamie and Jared stand up, looking like a massive wall between me and Daniel. Without time to blink, Jared and Jamie haul Daniel up under his shoulders and easily take him outside, Jamie’s mouth getting the better of him as he shouts loud enough for the whole town to hear. “You asshole! Get the fuck outta here. You ever come near Abi again talking this shit and you won’t fucking be able to open your mouth again for a month.”

  I watch in horror, not because I’m not grateful that my stepbrothers are defending me, but because I know that this will only add to the gossip that I’ve been finding unbearable. I try to catch the sob that’s threatening to rush out, shakily take a sip of my water, watching as my step-brothe
rs push Daniel out of the door and wait for him to take off, their arms crossed like two bodyguards. They wait another minute, talking to each other, before coming back inside, their expressions somber.

  “Sorry about that, Abi,” Jared says, shaking his head. “He had no right to say any of that. It’s not like it was your fault.”

  “We should’ve just laid him out. Just one hit, that’s all it would take, man,” Jamie mumbles into his bite of food, still looking a little unhinged. “I dare the motherfucker to try that again.”

  Jared levels a look with his brother. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t. Abi doesn’t need that kind of garbage in her life.”

  Jamie practically stabs at his food with his fork, his anger still very clearly on his mind, while Jared takes more careful bites, sizing everything up before looking over at me with a small smile on his face.

  This is how they’ve always been…you could never miss how Jamie feels about any one given thing, while Jared keeps his cards closer to his chest. They may be identical, but they’re like night and day in some ways.

  “Thanks for lunch, guys,” I say weakly as we head back into Dandies, the breeze sweeping my coppery hair all over the place.

  Jared slings his arm around my shoulders. “You don’t need to thank us, honey. You just concentrate on forgetting Cody and his idiot friends and getting that pretty smile back on your face.”

  Jamie tugs open the door to the shop.

  Shay’s standing behind the counter eyeing us all. “What the hell happened over there,” she says. “I saw you guys hefting Daniel out the door.”

  “One of Cody’s dickhead friends started mouthing off,” Jamie admits, leaning against the front window. “And we handled it.”

  Shay studies Jamie and Jared for a minute, giving them a nod before turning back to me. “You don’t look so good. Tell you what…I’ve already started on Mr. Ventura’s bouquet, so why don’t you take off for the rest of the day?”

  The confrontation still has me shaken, and it takes me a moment to finally respond with, “I’m okay.”

  “You don’t look okay, sweetie.”

  The twins look at me and nod. I guess I’m not that good at hiding how I’m feeling right now. As much as I hate skipping out like this on my best friend, I have to admit that getting out of here sounds better than staying. “Thanks, Shay.”

  “We can take you home. I’ll take your car and you can ride with Jared back to your apartment,” Jamie says, standing back up.

  Instead of arguing with them over treating me as an adult and not some fragile doll, I sigh and thank them too. “I’m fine though,” I add for good measure. “I’ll…be okay.”

  4

  Jamie

  “Son of a bitch. Did you eat the last of the pop-tarts?” I hold up the evidence—an empty box, half-filled with empty silver wrappers.

  But Jared doesn’t even bother to look up from his phone. “Hm?”

  Bastard. He can pretend to be the health nut all he wants because we both know he has a not-so-secret stash of junk food hidden in his nightstand.

  “I just picked this up the other night, too,” I mutter more to myself since my brother is very obviously not listening. I toss the leftover cardboard into the recycling bin and start rummaging through the pantry, hoping to find something else for lunch. Usually, the two of us go grab it while we’re out between jobs, but neither of us has had the chance to pick up groceries at the market this week.

  “You know, since we need some food at the house, we should run by the store. And…I was thinking maybe we could stop over at Abi’s place to try and cheer her up. She seemed pretty weirded out by that guy at the diner,” Jared says.

  It’s funny how the so-called psychic twin connection can come into play sometimes. “Yeah, that’s not a bad idea,” I reply, scratching at the stubble I’ve been letting grow in for the past few days. “We could even pick her up a few things.”

  I try not to think about the spooked look on Abi’s face, or even worse when her eyes were so puffy and red after Cody stood her up at their engagement party, because every time I do, I start seeing red. No one deserves to be treated like that. Especially Abi.

  --

  I knock loudly on the door, ringing the doorbell a couple of times just because, and stand back and wait. It isn’t like we had to walk very far with the groceries anyway, not when Abi’s apartment building is right next to our place. We didn’t even plan on us living so close to each other, but I know it helps Sam, our step-dad, sleep better at night knowing that we’re there if she needs us.

  I hear her footsteps inside the apartment when she yanks open the door, and I’m surprised to see her already in her pajamas for the night. It’s barely even past three o’clock. “What are you guys doing here?” she asks. Maybe we should have called first but at this time of the afternoon, it didn’t even cross my mind.

  Jared pulls out the bottle of her favorite red wine and the chocolate sampler box stashed inside, smiling at her. “Room service.”

  There’s still a weird expression on her face, but she finally opens the door wider and lets us in. “Sorry,” she mumbles softly, “My place is sort of a giant mess right now.”

  I wave her off because who am I to judge, really? My room looks like a fucking tornado hit it half the time. “You know we don’t mind.”

  I don’t know if maybe my words trigger something inside of her not, but in the same moment that I say them, her eyes immediately well up with big tears, her bottom lip quivering as she pulls her arms around her sides. I stare at my brother in alarm, not really sure what to do in an instance like this. I’m not exactly well versed with crying girls.

  Jared clears his throat, taking a step closer to her before putting his arm around her shoulder. “Hey, hey. We came over to cheer you up…not to make you cry?”

  I take a step closer to her too, my fucking heart hurting for her. Shit. I hate seeing her like this and I hate the way it makes me feel. Powerlessness is not an emotion I’m used to dealing with but I have no idea how to stop the tears flowing from her beautiful eyes.

  Sniffling, Abby wipes quickly at her face, obviously embarrassed. “Just ignore me. I’m sorry guys, it’s really sweet of you to stop by and make sure I’m okay. I’ve just been having a…rough day. You guys can totally stay if you want to.” She plops down onto the couch, her arms still wrapped around herself, as if she’s trying to make sure she doesn’t actually fall to pieces.

  “Why don’t I get us some glasses?” Jared suggests.

  “Or beer. You’ve got a beer, right?” I ask Abby.

  She nods and points to the bottle of wine before pulling it out of the bag. “I’ll just take this off your hands,” she says and then bursts into shaky sounding laughter. If wine is what Abi needs to put a smile back on her face, I’ll buy her a whole damn case.

  It only takes a minute for Jared’s return from her little kitchen with a corkscrew for Abi and a beer for both of us. Abby wastes no time taking a huge swig from the bottle herself.

  I crack open my beer, figuring there’s no better way to forget the shittiness in life than to drown it out with some good ol’ booze, although I can see Jared’s fighting his inner conscience. I can almost hear the little angel and devil sitting on his shoulders, trying to give him advice on how to deal with Abi.

  “Maybe we should put something on to watch?” Abby suggests, already searching for the remote to the TV.

  “I think there’s a good new standup comedy special we could check out,” I say. On the other side of Abby, Jared snorts. “Unless you have some lame, boring suggestion, bro.”

  Jared rolls his eyes at me. “There’s this really interesting docudrama about — “

  “Docudrama?”

  Abi snorts at our banter.

  “It’s about the world of MMA fighting, Jamie.”

  I’m just about to interject again when smacks us both on the knees. “You know you guys fight like an old married couple.”

 
I snort back at her this time. “Jared is a bit like an old man, I guess.”

  “That must make you the old woman then.”

  Abi’s in the middle of taking a swig from the wine bottle and almost spurts out a mouthful.

  “Nothing feminine about me,” I laugh.

  “Me and Cody had been fighting a lot too,” Abi says thoughtfully. “I guess I thought it was because of the pressure of organizing the engagement…I guess I missed all the signs.”

  This isn’t exactly the kind of territory I had in mind when I was thinking of cheering our stepsister up. “Better get the docudrama on, Jared,” I say and we settle in to watch the exciting world of MMA. It doesn’t take long for before everything is reminding Abigail of her former douche bag fiancée in some way. One guy had a haircut exactly like Cody’s, while one of the coach’s name was actually Cody. It’s like she can’t get away from the mother fucker. It’s one thing for Abi to be upset over the situation, but not when she starts blaming herself for that scumbag’s problems.

  After more than half the bottle is gone, Abi’s freckled cheeks are as red as tomatoes, and she speaks more confidently, sounding surer of the situation and herself. “I’ve just been so stupid, you know? I mean I knew it was a bit of a stretch when Cody first wanted to start dating. He was the captain of the school’s lacrosse team, and I was just some nerdy English major.” She gets louder. “I mean really, just take the two of us and compare us side-by-side. Why would someone like Cody want me, anyway?”

  I twist to look at her, thinking that maybe she’s gonna laugh at the joke she just told but she’s starting at the floor morosely. Is she being serious? For fuck sake. I don’t want to hear her talk about herself like this. She’s beautiful and it just makes me even more fucking angry at Cody for making her feel this way.