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“Nah,” he said with a shake of his head. “Makas is with her right now; she’s too busy to hang out with me. I came looking for you. I was surprised to hear you’d left.”
“I’ve left the hotel before,” I pointed out.
“Scarlett said you went to visit Ginger,” he admitted.
Ah.
We’d all grown up in town together, all gone to the same high school. Dan knew about Ginger and me, though how much he knew, I had no idea. Most people around town would have guessed it, anyway. She and I were together for a while before I left, and in the time since I’d been gone, Ginger had a daughter that no one bothered to tell me about.
“How did it go?” he asked.
I sighed and led the way over to a small lounge area. I slumped onto a couch, and he took the single seat across from me.
“It went terribly,” I admitted. “As expected. She wouldn’t just welcome me with open arms, would she?”
He shrugged. “Maybe if you’d met her as soon as you arrived instead of putting it off…”
I frowned at him, and he let his voice trail off. Yeah, I knew it had been cowardly of me to hide, but I just couldn’t bring myself to see her. Back then, coming into town had been the extent of my courage. For the whole of the first week, I couldn’t even leave my room, and my sister had to keep bringing me meals, because I didn’t know how to cook, either. When I could leave, I’d gone to see my dad. And that pattern had gone on like that for months.
“Did she say anything to you?”
I sighed. “Not really, just that she was busy.” Then I groaned and buried my face in my hands. “Not that I had anything grand to say, anyway. She looked like she couldn’t stand the sight of me, and I can't even blame her.”
“Give her time,” Dan suggested. “She still cares about you. I came by once and saw her standing outside the hotel, but she left without coming in.”
My head snapped up, eyes wide. “She did?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I thought about going over to her to tell her to walk in, but when she just walked away, I figured I’d just let her go. It was weeks ago.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I forgot,” he said sheepishly, shrugging. “I walked in to look for you to tell you, but then Makas got sick, and Scarlett and I had to take him to the hospital. Remember that day?”
I nodded. “Yeah. When he caught that ear infection and wouldn’t stop crying.”
I’d ended up looking after the kid, who seemed like he wouldn’t stop crying for three days straight.
But still. Shit! Ginger had come to the hotel to see me first. Just thinking about it made me feel ashamed of myself. She hadn't made it inside, but she’d made an effort, and I had no idea.
“Sorry about forgetting. You might have had an easier time if I hadn't forgotten.”
“Nah. She was probably still mad at me back then. She might have been coming to shout at me.”
“But, you still would have had it easier.”
I sighed. “Should I just get back in the car and go back to see her?”
“No way. That won’t make anything better right now. Just picture women like a minefield. You need to know where to step, and if you make a wrong one, you’ll blow yourself up. Like your sister. We’ve been together for a year, and I don’t have her completely figured out. She’s like a pussycat, affectionate most of the time, but incredibly independent, and lately, she’s been exceptionally moody.”
I didn’t like hearing him talk about my sister that way. While I was relatively fine with their relationship, it was still a bit awkward to come back and find my sister engaged and with a kid. I might have grown on the idea recently, but the awkwardness was still there.
“If she's moody, maybe it’s that time of the month? Scarlett isn’t one for being moody.”
Dan shook his head. “No way. I have that marked down on my phone as the days to avoid messing with my fiancée, so it has to be something else. When I ask her, she doesn’t say. So I’m keeping out of her way and doing my best not to get on her bad side, and hopefully, she’ll feel ready to talk to me later.”
Was that what I was supposed to be doing? I’d taken the first step, and she hadn't taken it well, it would be good to give her some time. But, just how much time was enough? How long would I have to wait before it got too long, and she just got madder instead of softening toward me?
Shit. Ginger and I had dated before I’d left. I’d known her the best, better than anybody else besides her mother, but that had changed. And it was all my fault, so I couldn’t even complain.
Chapter Four
Ginger
I got back to work and somehow managed to get myself through the rest of the day. I was silent, though, and a few of my clients remarked on it because usually, I was the chatter mouth that had everybody speaking up. Now that I was keeping quiet, my daughter spoke up instead. Everyone loved her, as usual, and I couldn’t help looking over at her now and then.
By the time our last client for the day had left, I was exhausted, but more emotionally than physically. I sat down and watched Mom help Fern pack her things up.
“Are you going to go see him?” she asked, glancing at me.
I grimaced, not sure what I should do. I’d wanted to see Ben, and he’d finally come to me. I was still angry, but it had been good to see him.
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “On the one hand, I want to. On the other hand, I want him to suffer just a little bit like I have.”
She tutted at me. “That isn’t like you, Ginger.”
I snorted. “Maybe not before, but he deserves it, Mom. You saw him! After months of ignoring me, and all he could do was say ‘hello?’”
“I saw an awkward and lost young man, looking unsure of how to go forward. You didn’t give him an opening, either. If you want to clear up the misunderstanding between the two of you, it can't just be one of you making an effort, you know.”
“I’ve made an effort, though,” I complained.
She shook her head. “You went to the hotel, but did you go inside?”
I folded my arms across my chest, grumbling to myself. He was the one that was supposed to make the first step, anyway, because it had been him who’d left when I needed him the most. The bastard should consider himself lucky that I was even giving him any chances at all!
But… does he know that?
“All right,” I admitted. “Maybe it was wrong of me. If I’m going to give him a chance to make everything right, I could at least tell him it exists.”
“There you go,” Mom encouraged. “Why don’t you go see him now? I’ll take Fern home.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said, jumping up. Now that I’d made up my mind, I was itching to go.
The hotel wasn’t too far away, maybe twenty minutes on foot, but it was dark out. Mom and I had separate cars, anyway, so I got in mine and drove to the hotel. I was there in a matter of minutes, and I walked inside, glancing around. I hadn't been in since Ben left, and the place had changed a lot.
“Hey, Ginger.”
I looked up to see Ben’s sister, Scarlett, waving at me from where she sat behind the reception desk.
“Hi, Scarlett,” I murmured, walking closer. She and I weren’t exactly close, but for all the help she’d given me while her brother was away, I could at least consider her a friend.
“You’re here for my brother,” she guessed. “He’s in the hotel bar with Dan. That way.”
She pointed the way for me, though it wasn’t really necessary. I smiled at her, then went in the direction she’d pointed. They were where she’d said, seated at the bar drinking beer. I walked closer, and Ben was acting like he was already drunk.
Then, I heard their conversation. They were talking about women.
“My sister is easy to understand,” Ben was saying.
“No,” Dan said, shaking his head. “She’s easy to understand to you because she’s your sister. She’s my fiancée, though, so I get to
see sides of her that you wouldn’t.”
“Ugh, don’t tell me that. But I guess you’re right, all women are hard to understand, even my sister.” He stopped for another drink. “I need to do something, though. I just don’t know what because… I don’t understand her anymore. So I don’t know how to make her not mad at me.”
“You know,” I said, cutting in, and they both turned to look at me with shocked expressions. “I don’t understand men, either. They think everything is so damn easy. They come and go whenever they please, and expect everything to be the same. But guess what? Life moves on when you’re gone. Did you ever maybe think that, Ben?”
I scowled at him, and he just blinked at me. I’d come hoping for a real conversation. I would shout at him all the ways he’d been a complete fucking jerk to me before we got to the serious talk. But there he was, intoxicated. Talking to him like this wouldn’t be worth the trip, and it only angered me more.
Why the fuck did I bother to come here?
I turned my back to leave. I wanted to tell him to try looking for me when he got sober, but my lips were pressed flat together, and the words wouldn’t come out.
“Ginger, wait!”
I ignored his voice when he called out to me until I heard a loud thump hit the floor and seats being pushed roughly. I turned around, my eyes widening in surprise to see Ben lying face down on the floor. Did he trip?
“Ben, are you okay?” I asked, instinctively turning back to check on him.
He was laying there, too still, and I caught his shoulder and tried to roll him over, so his face wasn’t pressed to the floor. He was heavy, though, and I wasn’t having much luck until a waiter showed up to help me. I glanced at Dan, who was still seated at the bar, but he had his head down on his arms, and I wondered if he’d fallen asleep.
“Can you help me take him upstairs?” I asked the waiter. “And you can let Scarlett know about Dan; she’ll come pick him up.”
“Sure. Here, get on his other side.”
He caught one of Ben’s arm and pulled him up, while I took the other arms. Then we both threw the arm we had a hold on across our shoulders, and we started the slow trip to his room. Scarlett saw us on the way to the elevator and let out an annoyed sound.
“Thank you for this,” she yelled at us. “Is Dan still in there?”
“He’s asleep at the bar,” I called back.
“All right. I’ll take care of him. His room is on the fourth floor.”
“I know where it is,” the waiter said.
It made me wonder just how many times Ben had done this.
We made it to his room, and the waiter helped me carry him all the way to his bed. Once we had Ben down, he gave me the keycard he’d taken from Ben’s pocket and left us alone.
I stood there for a moment, looking down at Ben. I’d only had a glance before, so I took the chance to stare for as long as I wanted. He hadn't changed much, though I wasn’t sure if it was just my imagination that his face looked a little haggard.
After a few moments, though, I decided I needed to head home. I didn’t realize I’d sat down on the bed next to him, and I stood up to leave. Only, he caught my wrist, and I turned to him in surprise. His eyes were just barely open and focused on me.
“Don’t go,” he said, his voice quiet. “Please, Ginger.”
“You need to sleep,” I pointed out. “And I need to be getting home.”
I tugged, but he wouldn’t release my wrist.
He shook his head. “Then stay until I wake up. Please.”
Maybe it was the please, but I let out a sigh and nodded. “Fine. But, I’ll be staying on the couch. So let me go.”
It took a minute, but his eyes slid closed and his hold on my wrist released. I watched him a while longer, then made my way over to his couch. I called Mom to let her know that I might be a while, and to make arrangements for Fern. As I hung up the phone, I wondered if I could even fall asleep with him only some feet away. A nap would do me good.
Chapter Five
Ben
“Ugh.”
It was morning, but I wasn’t snapping up in attention when I woke up. Instead, my mind and body felt heavy, and I rolled over in bed, trying to get comfortable so I could fall asleep and get back to my wonderful dream. This was why I drank, I didn’t think too much while I was drunk, and I didn’t wake up ready to be attacked.
That dream though…where I saw Ginger, and she was talking to me. She was still glaring, but it wasn’t the same dismissal I’d gotten when I went to her place. And then, after that, where she wasn’t even glaring. That had to have been a dream, right? Because there was no way Ginger would have been in my room last night.
I rolled around in bed for a few more minutes, then frowned when I figured I wouldn’t be falling back asleep. I groaned as I rose up, throwing a hand up to hold my head.
“Shit.” The part of drinking that I didn’t like. The hangover, and feeling so disoriented when I did wake up.
I slid out of bed and went to the bathroom. I had some meds in the cabinet behind the mirror, and I took a couple Tylenol with water from the sink. Then I stared at my reflection for a minute. My eyes were bloodshot and my coloring was a little pale. I looked terrible. So I stripped off my clothes and got under the shower for a quick wash.
When I got out, I felt a little more myself, and I left my bedroom with a towel wrapped around my waist, another tossed over my shoulder as I rubbed my hair dry. But then, I froze, when I caught sight of the couch.
Ginger.
She was sleeping on my couch, just like she’d said she would in my so-called dream from last night. Her being there meant it wasn’t a dream, though, right? And I let her see me drunk.
Dammit!
My heart was starting to pick up speed, and I looked down at myself with a wince. I couldn’t let her see me half naked. I’d humiliated myself enough last night. So I tiptoed back to my room and changed into better clothes, then went to the kitchen, pausing to glance down at Ginger, to make breakfast for the two of us. I couldn’t make much, but I could at least fry eggs and toast some bread.
She got up while I was in the middle of cooking, and I smiled to myself as I listened to her moving around. Usually, it was just me in the apartment. Hearing someone else, and knowing that person was Ginger, made my heart skip a beat.
“Hey,” she said.
She was at the door into the little kitchen, leaning against the doorjamb. I looked up to see her yawn and rub her eye, with her hair all messed up from sleep. Her voice was still rough from sleep, and she was still in yesterday’s clothes, all wrinkled.
It was the most beautiful sight I’d seen in a while.
“Hey, there,” I said sheepishly, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’m sorry about last night; I didn’t mean to be a bother. But I am happy that you stayed.”
She sighed and frowned at me. “Well, you didn’t deserve it. But you were heavy, and I was tired.”
“No, you’re right,” I muttered, ignoring her excuse. “I didn’t deserve it, which is why when I woke up, I thought I dreamed the whole thing.”
Her eyes were wide as they stared at me in surprise. I gave a self-conscious laugh, but of course, I knew. There were a lot of things I desired from Ginger that I didn’t deserve because of how I treated her. It would be only right if she kicked me off to the curb so that she’d stayed anyway was a good sign for me. That just maybe, I might have a chance with this girl that I never stopped loving.
We sat down to breakfast at my little dining table, with a carton of orange juice in the middle of the table between us and two glasses.
“Sorry I don’t have any coffee. I don’t drink it.”
“It’s fine,” Ginger said, waving me off. “I can just buy some when I head out later.”
At the reminder that she would be leaving, my heart squeezed uncomfortably in my chest. But I couldn’t ask for more from her, of course, she could leave whenever she wanted to. Being so unhappy about it was m
y problem, not hers.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out.
Ginger stopped eating and looked up at me. “What?”
I grimaced. I’d had this whole speech prepared, just in case she decided to talk to me, and I’d just ruined it. But because I’d already started, I couldn’t just stop.
“When I decided to leave,” I explained. “I was entirely selfish back then, and I never got to apologize to you before I left. You’d told me that you could be pregnant, and my first thought was to run. I’m sorry that I never stuck around to find out whether it was true or not, and left you to deal with that on your own.”
In the middle of my speech, I lost some confidence and ended up staring down instead of looking right at her. She didn’t give an immediate reply, and there were a few minutes of silence between us. I was hunched over the table, with my hands clasped tightly underneath it where she couldn’t see and realize just how anxious I was.
“Why did you come yesterday?” she asked.
My head shot up. “What?”
“To the salon. Why did you come? What did you come to say? I’m ready to hear it, whatever it is.”
She had her arms crossed over her chest, but while the position was defensive, nothing in her expression gave me a clue as to how she was feeling.
I bit down on my lip. “I came to say I was sorry. I know…that it’s been months since I got back. But I’ve been a coward in that entire time, I just…didn’t know how to face you.”
“You faced me just fine yesterday,” she pointed out.
I let out a small, grim laugh, and dropped my head so she wouldn’t catch the look on my face.
“I got discharged from the Navy, Ginger. There wasn’t even the option of me staying longer because psychologically, I was not okay to continue my service, not that I would have wanted to stay, anyway. I saw…so many horrors out there, Ginger. When I came out, I wasn’t the same as the man that left.” I glanced up tentatively to meet her gaze. “I’ve…changed. But I just wanted to try with us. Try and be better, if you’ll allow me to be. Because this time, I’m going to be there for you and not run away.”