Stepbrother's Secrets (A New Adult Forbidden Romance) Read online

  "So what do you do Jake?" I ask pushing a slice of tomato aside on my salad.

  "I'm in sales," he says stabbing a cucumber from his own and holding it before him examining it. "Very lucrative."

  "What kind of sales?" I ask.

  He looks over the cucumber at me and something dark moves behind his eyes. I don't know what it is but I see it clearly. My dad used to get that look, right before things would go bad at the dinner table. My dad drank, a lot. Eventually my mother left him and a couple of years ago he passed away from liver failure. A cold chill runs down my back and I feel goose bumps break out across my arms.

  "Sales," he says with finality. "It pays well."

  "I see," I say unable to look away from him.

  Something between us. I'm drawn to him. A bit like a moth to a flame? I don't know what it is. There's more than darkness behind those eyes, there's pain. I want to take him in my arms and hold him close. I want to feel his heart beating against mine encircling each other in our arms and locking the world away.

  "Why were you at the party?" he asks.

  "Lace, my roommate you met, dragged me to it. I really didn't want to be there ..." but I'm glad I was.

  Jake nods smiling. "Well I'm glad you did."

  The butterflies in my stomach do flip flops over each other. His foot moves up my calf and touches the inside of my thigh and my panties grow wet as another shudder silently moves through me.

  "Thank you," I say looking down at my salad unable to meet the intensity in his eyes. The raw desire he exudes.

  "You're beautiful," he says. "More beautiful than any girl I've seen. Yet you don't act like it, you act like you don't even see it. The effect you have on men around you. Take our waiter for instance."

  "What are you talking about?" I ask my face burning bright red.

  "He wants you," Jake says softly. "Badly. He hasn't been able to keep his eyes off you. The entire time he was taking the order he was staring at you. He keeps looking at you from the wait station back there."

  "No, you're just being silly."

  "Jake!" a man says stumbling slightly as he approaches our table.

  The man is dressed in a rumpled suit. He has a few days growth of beard darkening his already warm, brown skin and heavy bags under his eyes. He weaves back and forth staring at Jake. Jake looks over, his jaw tensing and his fist clenching on the table.

  "Not now," Jake fairly growls.

  "Jake, man I need to," the man looks around before leaning in closer to Jake. "I need to, you know, score."

  Jake stands up from his seat placing an arm around the man's shoulder.

  "Follow me, now," Jake says. His voice has a hard edge that feels dangerous.

  "Sure man, ow, ease up," the stranger says.

  Jake leads the man away from the table and out a rear door. I look around hoping no one notices the commotion. I pick at my salad debating if I should just leave right now. Some part of me says stay. I won't say it's a rational part, that part is screaming at me to run for the hills. That part imagines I'm playing a role in some television crime drama. The rest of me, the part I'm listening to right now, says that can't happen to me. That happens to other people. It also says how hot and amazing Jake is and how I can heal that pain I see in his eyes.

  Of course I can. The right woman can fix any man, no matter the issue. I have to believe that. I have to believe that my dad could have been saved if he'd found the right woman. It wasn't my mom and that's okay but for Jake it can be me.

  Jake comes back in tucking his shirt into his pants as he walks. He takes his seat, scoots in, places his napkin back in his lap, and then takes up his glass of wine looking at me with a smile.

  "Now, where were we?" he asks.

  "Uhm, who was that Jake?"

  He frowns, his eyes darting to the side. "An unsatisfied client. Don't worry about it."

  I nod debating whether to accept his answer but it makes sense. The guy was drunk. Jake took care of it. I sigh and let it go. Our entrees are laid before us and the smells make my mouth water. We eat in silence for a time.

  "This is amazing," I say swallowing a bite.

  "I'm really glad you like it," he says. "You deserve nice things. I want to give them to you."

  "And how would you know? We just met," I say laughing.

  "I knew it the moment I saw you across that room. The moment I saw how you didn't fit in there. I know someone broke your heart. I know I never will. Some things, you just know."

  My stomach clenches and my heart stops. I can't stop staring into his eyes. My throat is dry so I reach for the wine but it's impossible to swallow. He stares into my eyes and I know right then I'm falling for this man I just met. I can't believe it. I never thought I'd feel this way again, certainly not this soon.

  "I, thank you," I stammer.

  "Thank you," he says smiling his foot circling my inner thigh.

  My head spins. I'm light headed. I can't think clearly, I just want this man. I want him in my bed, I want him inside me. I want him now.

  "We should go," I say softly placing my napkin over my plate.

  Jake nods rising from his chair and coming around to stand behind me. He pulls my chair out then takes my arm and leads me not towards the front but the rear of the building. We go down a dark hallway lit by the red glow of an exit sign. Jakes leads me through that door into an alley.

  He turns towards me pressing me against the brick wall. His hard body holds me in place. I gasp air just as his lips meet mine. I throw my arms around him pulling myself into him. I feel his cock pressing into my abdomen. I explore the bulge of muscles on his neck and down his arms. He lifts me up by my ass and I wrap my legs around his waist. The kiss goes on and on. His tongue presses past my lips searching, needing, tasting me.

  His hands roam my thighs as I thrust against him. I feel his need straining against the fabric that separates us. Juices flood from me in preparation for what's to come. He breaks the kiss gasping air then he's kissing my cheek, my neck, across my collar bone. I twine my hands in his hair whimpering my desire.

  He nibbles on my ear. "I love you."

  My heart pounds. The words! He said the words! This is crazy. We just met. He doesn't know me but it feels so right. I want him more than I've ever wanted any man. I kiss his cheek, lick his jaw line.

  Suddenly he steps back from me placing me back on the ground. He looks at me panting, desire obvious in his eyes.

  "We can't ... not like this," he says.

  I step forward, my hands on his chest, tracing the bulging muscles. "Jake ..."

  He shakes his head grabbing my hands in a vice like grip. "No, you're better than this. You deserve more."

  "Jake, please."

  Now I'm really spinning. I can't switch gears this quick. I want him. I want him now. He can't be turning me down? What in the hell is wrong with me?

  "Sheila," he says raising my fingers up to his lips where he gently kisses each of them. "You are beautiful, amazing, and I want you more than I can express in words. Not like this though."

  He motions around the alley in which we stand.

  "I'll not treat you like some dirty whore. You're special. You deserve better and I'll give it to you. I just ..." he trails off. "Not tonight. I just can't tonight. Give me some time to make it right."

  I gasp in air feeling light headed. I nod uncertain of my ability to speak. I don't know if I want to cry because of the beauty of his words or if it's because I feel like I'm being dumped without ever having been actually picked up.

  He wraps an arm around my shoulders then leads the way back into the building and out to the valet.

  We ride in silence. I don't really know what to say. Pulling up in front of my dorm he looks at me for a long moment.

  "I’m serious," he says leaning in.

  I kiss him but my own passion is reserved now. I don't know if I should believe him or not. I don't know if I should be thankful that this wasn't a one night stand or if I should be
angry it wasn't. I just don't know.

  "Okay," I say breaking the kiss.

  I reach for the door handle and let myself out. I listen for him to pull away as I walk to my dorm but he doesn't even start the car until the door is closing behind me.

  Chapter four

  "Mom, seriously, I don't have time! I've got a test tomorrow, a paper due, and forty pages of reading for another class. I really can't drop all this and run over! It's a forty minute drive each way."

  "Oh Sheila, you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't really important. I mean like really important. Can't you please come to dinner?"

  Lace is restraining herself from busting a gut from suppressed laughter. I roll my eyes at her as she starts pantomiming me and my mother with her hands talking to each other. She's being absolutely no help.

  "Mom, I'm sorry I can't."

  "I understand," I can hear it in her voice.

  Poor me. Poor Mom, totally forgotten by her only daughter. Great.

  "Mom, look, can it wait for the weekend?"

  "Sheila-boo, if it has to it will wait. It's just, well," she sobs and my stomach drops to the floor "it's really big and God knows we could use some good news for a change."

  I inhale deeply with my eyes closed. I look at Lace and mime cutting my own throat. Shaking my head my mouth says the opposite. "Okay Mom, I'll make it work," already regretting the sleep I'll lose.

  Mom does this to me all the time. I'm her only child and she's worked hard to allow me to get an education. I appreciate it, I really do, but sometimes she doesn't understand what it takes to keep my grades up.

  "Oh Sheila-boo! I'm so happy. I can't wait to see you. You're going to be so, so excited!"

  "I'm sure I will Mom, I love you."

  "Seven o'clock sharp dear."

  "Yes Mom."

  "I love you!"

  "I love you too," I say hanging the phone up and collapsing onto the bed. "Ugh!"

  "I love you too Sheila-boo!" Lace mocks me from across the room.

  "You're a smart ass," I grouse.

  "You're a push over," she replies.

  "Yeah, yeah I am. But it's my mom. She did everything for me, I feel like I owe it to her."

  "Sure, and you do. Don't mean you're not a push over!" she laughs.

  "Well good, you can ride with me. You need a home cooked meal."

  "What?" she says surprised.

  "You heard me!"

  "I have to study!"

  "So do I, so we'll work it in the car. Please don't make me do this alone. If you come we can take turns driving and at least get some work done on the road."

  Lace closes her eyes and sighs. I know I've got her right then. I sit up and smile at her.

  "Okaaay," she says sighing dramatically.

  I give her a hug by way of thanks. Glancing at the clock I barely have time to get across campus to my next class.

  "See you tonight," I say grabbing my books and bolting out the door.

  *****

  Mom's house is small but nice. She lives in the suburbs in a perfect middle class world. She did all right for us after she left my dad. Nothing amazing, we weren't rich but I never wanted for anything that I can recall. I don't bother knocking, this is still home to me. As I lead the way through the door the smells of roast and herb potatoes hits me full in the face. I stop, inhaling it, and Lace runs into my back.

  "Hey!" Lace says. "Whoa, is that roast? Mmmm."

  "Sheila-boo?" Mom's voice drifts from the kitchen.

  "Sheila-boo," Lace whispers behind me giggling.

  "Shut up," I hiss thrusting my elbow back into her gut.

  It doesn't stop the giggling. I lead the way to the kitchen.

  "Hey Mom, I brought Lace along, she needed a good meal-" The words die in my throat as I turn the corner into the kitchen.

  Jake is leaning against the kitchen sink.

  He looks over at me and his eyes go wide. He looks from me to my mother standing over the open oven basting a roast then back to me. My mouth works but no words come out. Lace pushes past me roughly then stops dead in her tracks seeing Jake standing there. Then she is looking from him to me.

  "What the hell?" Lace says.

  "Lace, language!" Mother says without looking up from the roast.

  "Sorry Mrs. Sandborn," she says.

  "You girls, college should be expanding your language, not limiting it!"

  "Yes Mrs. Sandborn."

  I can't take my eyes off of Jake. Desire and need compete with the overall confusion that threatens to overwhelm me. I blink a couple of times but he's still standing there, still looking amazing, still staring at me. I shake my head and mouth at him.

  What are you doing here?

  He shakes his head and mouths back something but I don't catch it as my mom closes the oven and turns around.

  "Oh Sheila, I want you to meet Jake," she says introducing the two of us. "Jake, this is my little Sheila, well not so little anymore as you can see."

  "Mom!" I exclaim my skin burning hot.

  "And this is her roommate and best friend Lace," Mom says ignoring me. "Now Sheila, I want you to meet someone else. Just a moment while I go get him. He's out in the garage trying to fix that darn door. It still wants to stick on me."

  Mom leaves out the door to the garage and I swallow hard staring at Jake.

  "What are you doing here?" I ask.

  "Shit," Jake says. "You don't know? You're her daughter?"

  "Oh my God!" Lace exclaims both hands flying to her mouth. "No, seriously?"

  "Seriously what? What is going on?" I ask frustration coming to the forefront.

  "Is it your dad?" Lace asks looking at Jake.

  Jake nods slowly. "Uh yeah."

  "Shit balls," Lace says.

  "Dad? Shit balls? What? Someone please clarify what in hell is going on!"

  "Your mom is dating Jake's dad," Lace says with a shit eating grin.

  "You have got to be kidding me!"

  Jake and Lace both shake their heads.

  "Shit balls," I say.

  I hear the garage door opening and closing then the door into the kitchen opens. I think I'm going in to shock. This can't be happening. This is not real. I've been studying hard, I must have fallen asleep in the university library and this is some kind of nightmare.

  "Sheila, I want you to meet Marcos," Mom says dragging a handsome Hispanic man into the kitchen by his hand.

  "Hello Sheila," he says standing beside my mom.

  I look from him to Jake then to my mom. Everyone seems to be waiting for me to say something. Words. What words do I say? Oh!

  "Uh, hello," I reply at last.

  "I want you to know," Marcos says. "I care very deeply about your mother and I hope you will welcome me into your family."

  "Uh, what?" I stutter it out.

  Lace snorts beside me both her arms crossed tightly under her breasts as she struggles to keep from laughing out loud.

  "Oh Marcos, I hadn't told her yet!" Mom exclaims.

  "Told me?"

  "Yes dear. Marcos and I are getting married. Isn't it wonderful?"

  I blink. Then I blink again. Everything is still here and no one is saying a word. As stealthily as possible I cross my arms and pinch myself hard enough my eyes water. Nothing changes. This is really happening.

  "Uh, yes?" I say it.

  The left side of my chest constricts and I can't get enough air. What else can I say? I look at Jake but he's very busy staring at his shoes. No help there.

  "It's going to be a small affair, there's not much family but we want you and Jake to stand up with us. Lace you'll be invited of course."

  My mom starts rattling on the details of her impending wedding to this man I just now met but I barely hear what she's saying. I can't take my eyes off Jake. I can't figure out what to do with these feelings inside when I look at him. When I think of him and my body responds to his touch but more my heart responded to him. He said he loved me. We hadn't been together but
two times and he said he loved me. It wasn't a sex afterglow I love you, it was real. I know it. I felt it in his words and I felt it in my own heart.

  What the hell are we going to do now?

  Chapter five

  Lace grabs a pair of five inch heels from the display at Neiman Marcus. "So that was awkward," she says holding them and inspecting with a practiced eye.

  "Ya think?"

  I made it through the dinner which involved a lot of not making eye contact and awkward silences. My mom was more than happy to fill the quiet.

  "Your mom seems happy."

  "Yeah and that's really the issue for me."

  "Boy howdy!" Lace laughs looking at a different pair of shoes.

  "What am I going to do? Do I tell her?"

  "Tell her what? You banged your soon to be stepbrother?"

  "I didn't 'bang' him!" I roll my eyes.

  "Oh right, didn't ... yet," Lace laughs. "Hey there's still time! You should totally hook up with him before the wedding happens. That way it's not weird or anything. Is it legal to bang a stepbrother?"

  "God I don't know," I say.

  My mind is racing. The feelings I have for him, I think they could be real. Like really real. We just didn't have time to explore them, to see if they grow or die. I can't take my mom's happiness from her. She hasn't dated as far as I know since leaving my dad. She was totally focused on me.

  "So you said he's rich?"

  "Hmm?" I ask, I wasn't paying attention to Lace.

  "Marcos, your mom says he's rich?"

  "So she says, like balls rich," I say staring through a pair of loafers.

  "Nice."

  "Let's go down to the Food Court," I say. "I need a drink."

  "Sure," Lace says putting back the shoes she was holding. We move into the flow of bodies in the mall commons.

  "Seriously Sheila, what can you do? They're already getting married. Hell they're probably already doing it which is more than you and Jake."

  "Good God Lace, don't ever say 'doing it' and my mom in the same breath again, ugh."

  "Yeah, pretty awkward there huh?"

  "Shut up!"

  I shake my head sliding into line at Orange Julius. People walk in the mall doors pushing past one another.