HUGE STEPS Read online

  Jared pulls back slightly, searching my face. “Is this okay?” he asks.

  But Jamie’s already set a motion in plan, scooping me up into his arms as if I weigh nothing. “You know our girl never says no,” he says as he carries me down the hall.

  Jamie places me down on the bed, Jared quick to follow us. Jared slowly lifts my shirt up and over my head, wasting no time in unhooking and sliding down my bra, freeing my breasts, my nipples standing out in protest against the chilly air.

  Jamie pushes my pants down, and hooks his fingers into the waistband of my panties, pulling until I’m able to step out of them. I can see the hunger in both of their eyes, but they’re more concerned with taking care of me first, as they always are.

  “Can…Can I?” I ask gently, placing my hands on their hips. “I just need to see you right now.”

  “We’re yours, Abi,” Jamie says, while Jared nods. They both hold their breath as bite my lip.

  I don’t say a word, I just get to work, one slow, deliberate movement at a time. The shirts are off first, and I take my time in running my hands along their broad chests, committing every curve of muscle, every dip between the ribs, that I can to memory. It amazes me to see the way they are so very much the same but so very different at the same time.

  Jared’s abdomen trembles when I undo the button of his jeans and carefully unzip them, while Jamie holds his breath when I do the same to him.

  When all that’s left is them in their boxer briefs, I take a step back and smile. They watch me watching them, and it sends a thrill down between my legs.

  “Take them off,” I whisper. I want to see them both at the same time.

  Jared is slow with his movement, his gaze never leaving mine as he pushes his underwear down, standing back up with a quiet sort of confidence. On the other hand, Jamie shoves them down his thighs instantly, lit up with excitement from his head to his toes and definitely everywhere between.

  I think I understand how lottery players must feel when they’ve won the jackpot. I can’t believe how lucky I am. Even after all these months, I still feel like pinching myself. None of this feels real to me. How often do dreams come true? I feel so blessed to have these men in my life.

  My breathing feels shallow as their eyes sweep over my body. The corner of Jared’s mouth just barely quirks up. I take the time to really look at him, no need to rush. Smooth tan skin over just the right amount of lean muscle. Thick thighs and strong calves and an ass that I just have to dig my fingers in to. A broad chest that is just perfect for me to rest on and listen to his heart beating.

  I look across to Jamie and map him out too. Gorgeous eyes and the cheekiest grin you ever saw. Slightly broader shoulders than his brother and a little more bulk to his biceps too. I love how narrow his waist seems and the dark patch of hair around his cock that gives me so much pleasure.

  “She’s comparing us,” Jamie says.

  “Yeah, she is,” Jared agrees.

  They start to move towards me and shiver runs down my spine. So much man. So much strength, and gentle power.

  Jared moves behind me to pull my curls down out of the messy bun on my head until they bounce around my shoulders. I breathe them in, the scent of them making me feel lightheaded. His hands massage right under my head and on either side of my neck, loosening the muscles and sending any tension I was holding packing.

  “Mm,” I moan, not able to recall the last time someone rubbed my neck like this.

  I can’t even bring myself to say anything, but I smile still with my eyes closed

  Jamie runs his hands along my hips, holding me in place. His lips land first on my shoulder, and then across my neck to the other shoulder, hands slipping back to form a slippery grip on my round hips. He has no qualms letting me feel just how much he wants me, his length pressed firmly against my side.

  I’m wet between my legs, and they haven’t even touched me yet. Jared’s fingers slip between my legs and I gasp softly, my eyes fluttering open to watch his concentration. Jamie’s brow furrows as his thumbs just barely rub against my nipples. So much focus on giving me pleasure.

  The movements are so careful and deliberate, and I know this is more than them wanting my body. The way they both take their time with me, not rushing even though I’m they want to, tells me how much they love me.

  Jamie’s hand moves to caress my bump and a lump forms in my throat.

  I try not to cry, not wanting to alarm them or anything. The emotion is too much for me sometimes.

  They love me and this baby that I’m growing. And I…I’m so in love with them.

  I let Jamie push my legs apart, his careful movements with his fingers almost more than I can bear. Reaching up behind me, I cup the side of Jared’s face and bring his mouth down to mine, tasting him and drinking him.

  He responds slowly at first, but his hands brush over the peaks of my breasts until he’s heaving them in his hands, squeezing me. I press back harder against his mouth and he kisses me with even more fervor, his tongue sweep along mine. I can feel his cock stirring against me and it only leaves me wanting more.

  Jamie’s kneeling down, his tongue finding my clit and licking it gently.

  “Ohh,” I moan softly. I writhe under him, my breath quickening, feeling the rising pleasure and reveling it in. The get me close but not enough to come. I know what they’re doing. Working me into a frenzy so I’ll go off like a rocket as soon as one of them pushes inside me.

  I’m not complaining.

  I love it that way.

  When Jared moves deep inside me with one slick movement, I take in a quick shallow breath, moaning like crazy at how full I suddenly feel. His thickness spreads me apart and all it takes is three hard thrusts and I’m gone.

  I don’t know how you could explain an orgasm to someone who had never had one. The ultimate release, maybe. All I know is that each one I have seems different.

  I’m flying as Jared comes inside me. I’m still soaring as Jamie takes his brother’s place.

  They work as a team, one moving so the other can too, and before I know what’s happening, my body is tensing up again, a fire burning and coiling up deep inside me. I let out the cry that seems to cut the air, and try to find purchase on anything, my hands slippery with sweat as I come a second time, stars bursting like fireworks behind my lids.

  “Oh, oh god,” I moan, more quietly this time. “I love you. I love you both so much.”

  I hear them both whisper ‘I love you’ and my heart is fit to burst.

  And I know that whatever comes next, I’m never going to have to face it on my own. Jared and Jamie may be my stepbrothers, but they’re also my lovers, prepared to take a huge step to be with me and our baby.

  All I can do is pray that our parents will one day come to accept us too.

  EPILOGUE

  ABIGAIL

  Eight months later…

  The gown fits awkwardly around me, the ties all over the place aggravating the hell out of me. Instead of a lovely dress, though, I’m stuck in this god-awful, itchy hospital gown, wishing I could wear my own. I keep pacing back and forth, and all I can think about is how Jamie and Jared are like, three seconds away from my ultimate wrath if they don’t hurry up and get here. Fast.

  “How ya feeling, hon?” the nurse asks, shuffling back into the room pushing a small cart.

  I suck in a quick breath, assessing everything. Back is killing me. My feet are about the size of two tree trunks waiting for me to trip over them, and my hair is sweaty and plastered on the back of my neck. Oh, and then there’s the watermelon that is currently pressing down on my vagina, waiting for the big escape. I don’t even bother with the polite smile. “I’ve been better.”

  She pats my arm, guiding me back to the side of the hospital bed. “I’m going to go ahead and check to see how things are progressing. And check your blood pressure, of course. Here you go,” she says, helping me slide my tree trunks back over. I take a minute to read over her id badge,
wondering how stressful it must be to deal with a whole bunch of first-time mothers all day.

  “Has anyone heard from my…um, from…”

  “Actually, yes. The gentlemen just called the nurse’s station. They’ll be here shortly.”

  The cuff nearly cuts off my circulation the more it inflates, and all I want to do is sleep. I’d gone in for an induction only hours ago, and they thought I’d have plenty of time before the contractions would really start to kick in, but when the nurse…Nancy…checked me, I was already dilated to four centimeters. I still can’t even wrap my head around that.

  She goes over the screen, watching the lines as they come in, and presses around the outside of my enormous stomach, nodding to herself. “Oh yes. In the perfect position. Lie back, please, Abigail. You can hold on to the railing if you’d like, hon. I’m just going to go ahead and check how far you are again.”

  It’s uncomfortable but not as bad as the weeks of being prodded and poked while being on bedrest. “Mmkay,” I groan as she helps adjust the bed back down.

  Gritting my teeth, I wait for her to get on with it, glad once she pulls the gloves off and tosses them into the nearby trash can. “All right, it’s looking like you’re at a seven now. I know you wanted to wait but if you want the epidural, this is your last chance.”

  I glance out the window, and then back toward the door, chewing my swollen lip. “I…okay. I really did want to wait for them but…”

  The heavy door shoves open on the opposite of the curtain and two huge piles of baby things with strong legs come barreling into my room, nearly knocking into the hospital tray next to my bed.

  “Oof!” Jamie sets his arm-full of things down all at once, bottles and pacifiers still in boxes falling out of the tops of tote bags. “I think we got it all.”

  “Excuse me!” Nancy scolds them, her hands on her plump hips. “There is no need for all the racket—some women are trying to give birth, you know!”

  I hide the snicker behind my hand as Jared and Jamie look at the short round nurse, shame clear as day on their faces.

  “Sorry, ma’am,” Jared says. “We’re just…a little excited is all.”

  “It was your fault, anyway,” Jamie turns to his brother, shaking his head. “You just had to make the last pitstop…”

  “It was an important one,” Jared replies, narrowing his eyes at Jamie. “And plus, if you hadn’t taken so long…”

  The two of them keep going back and forth while me and Nancy just roll our eyes, and she quickly looks at the screen. “I’m going to go ahead and let the anesthesiologist know to bring your waiver form.”

  She leaves the three of us alone and still, Jared and Jamie are fighting. I’d usually have patience, but something shifts really low inside of me, and it feels like all of my muscles are tightening way too much around my womb, not unlike the way my arm was nearly suffocated by the blood pressure cuff.

  I freeze, wanting to get back up out of the bed but unable to move. “Uh, guys?”

  “But I already told you I grabbed the pillow! It’s not my fault you take forever to get anywhere…”

  I clear my throat, leaning forward to try and pull myself up. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I remember reading about sitting on an exercise ball. Of course, I don’t have one here because it’s the hospital and not a freaking gym. I take another breath. “Guys.”

  When neither of them seems to really hear me, I shriek, “Shut the hell up!” That gets their attention fast enough, and they’re immediately by my side. “I think this is the big contractions Doctor Ramsey was telling us about…” my voice trails off into a weird groan as it finally lets up. And I’m supposed to deal with this all day?

  Luckily for me though, my body is ready for this grueling journey to be over, and the labor that everyone expects to take much longer, lasts for barely more than a couple hours, all the while my guys circle around me, letting me squeeze the ever-loving crap out of their hands. I didn’t even make it long enough for the epidural to be administered before I had become fully dilated and they had no choice. The frustration in not having relief was almost as bad as the actual pain, and each time I felt the raw wave of it crashing over me, I looked at one of the guys and screeched. I was so not going to let them forget this.

  I’m so lost in my own head and body that I don’t even realize Doctor Ramsey has settled between my legs until he instructs Jamie and Jared to each grab my leg to help me push.

  I try to brace myself but it’s impossible, I feel like I’m losing sight of what all of this was about in the first place, only wanting to hurry up and stop the pain…

  The first round of relief hits, and I take a gasping breath as if I’ve just come up for air. There’s a muffled gurgling cry, and my eyes fly open. I can just barely make out little red, wrinkly feet, when another wave of stretching, tearing pain takes over.

  “It’s a girl! She’s a little girl!” Jared says, closer as he leans down and kisses my sweaty forehead, still clinging on to my leg.

  “You two grab her legs, let the dads get in there,” Doctor Ramsey tells two of the nurses standing by. “You’re almost done now, Abigail.”

  The room is a quiet chaos of baby shrieks and hurried whispers. “Here you go, sir. Would you like the cut the cord?”

  A clamp is passed around me and Jamie stands blinkingti as the nurses present the cord for him to cut. I just manage to catch his teary eyes as he does it, and the loud, writhing baby bundled up in a soft white blanket is passed to him carefully.

  The pain pulls me back to my body yet again, and I let out a loud sob as Doctor Ramsey tells me to push, push, push. I breathe as deeply as I can and hold it in, giving my body the strength it needs…

  “Here we go! Baby B is here! Another girl!”

  The total and utter relief I feel takes over everything, but I raise my face to watch as Jared’s presented with the second baby’s cord to cut, and only moments later, our sweet baby is placed in his arms as well. I want to pull them all up to me so I can keep them all safe from harm, but I’m so tired…

  “Here they are, Abi,” Jared whispers. “Look at our sweet girls.”

  I look up to see both my wonderful, loving men on either side of me, both of their arms full of crying baby. The tears that have been streaming down my face are no match for the joy that swells up inside of me.

  They’re here, and now I have my family.

  --

  “I still can’t get over how tiny their little fingers are,” I giggle, a little delirious from the twenty-four hours. “I mean, look at them.” I take Elizabeth’s hand in mine, trying to learn more about the little bodies I’ve been growing inside of me.

  Jamie peers over us, nodding. “It’s so crazy, right? And look, I think she has me and Jared’s nose!”

  I run my fingers very softly over the tufts of strawberry blonde hair on her tiny head, cataloging all I already know about my children: Elizabeth is older by only two minutes, but she’s smaller than Eleanor by over five ounces. Eleanor is the calm one, her eyes already studying everything around her, while Elizabeth is wiggly and makes the funniest faces. And they both look so much like their daddies, but I can see bits of me in there, too.

  I sigh. Bits of me…and bits of Dad. The moment I’d been dreading trickles in and my eyes blur as the tears well up. This whole time I had to brave this thing with only Jared and Jamie’s help. Of course, my friends and even Dandie were very helpful and very sweet.

  But without Dad and Nat accepting everything and wanting to be a part of their grandchildren’s lives it’s been a lonelier path than it should have been.

  It’s like we’re all on the same wavelength when Jared picks Eleanor up from her bassinet and settles in next to me in the bed. “I know, Abi. We tried to—”

  There’s a soft knock at the door. No one is supposed to be due to check up on me or the babies for the next half-hour…and I made them both swear to me that they wouldn’t start telling everyone until I’d had s
ome downtime…

  Lovely purple and white flowers are the first things I see around the curtain, followed by my eyes…my Dad’s eyes. He and Nat shuffle into the room, the expressions of their faces somewhat unreadable until they take in the bundles in mine and Jared’s arms.

  Natalie’s lip quivers just like mine, and I let out the biggest sob of all.

  “Oh, Abi.” Dad whispers, the first to take the steps closer to us. “They’re beautiful.” He sets the flowers. down on the table and leans down, his forehead up against mine. “I’ve been so stupid…I’ve been so damn stubborn.” His tears mingle with mine, but I’m smiling because my dad is here, like I always imagined he would be.

  Nat rushes to the boys, squeezing Jamie and pushing Jared’s hair out of his face. When she leans in, she places a small kiss on Eleanor’s cheek. “She smells heavenly,” she laughs softly.

  There’s a flurry of commotion, both Dad and Nat anxiously kissing and loving on both of the girls, cooing at them even more than we have been. When I meet Jamie and Jared’s gaze over their heads, I smile.

  “We had to stop by and try to talk to them one last time,” Jared says, his arm around Nat. “I couldn’t stand the thought of them missing out anymore.”

  Natalie’s smile turns down for a moment. “I’m so sorry, Abigail. We…we should’ve been here for you. All of you. But the boys came by and pretty much convinced us that it was time to let go of our issues and for us to be a proper family again.”

  “It doesn’t even matter now. You’re here. That’s all I ever wanted,” I whisper, leaning in to squeeze her.

  There was a time when I imagined my life would turn out very differently. I thought I wanted to be with Cody. I thought I needed to turn my back on my stepbrothers and accept that my path had to take me in another direction.

  I was prepared to turn my back on Jamie and Jared because I was scared. I didn’t think that love would be enough but, as I gaze around at my perfect family, I can tell you that it is.

  Love brought us together in the end.