PERSONAL: A Stepbrother Sports Romance Read online

  “Except my parents ’ marriage , which felt like a death, honestly.”

  “Yeah, well, consider yourself lucky.”

  He didn’t move from his pillar strength stance. And I just realized it all: he was an orphan now. No mother. No father. A rich, rich billionaire heir. And he was alone.

  Well, he deserves it ! m y bitter heart shouted at me. I instantly felt guilty for such a thought.

  N o one deserved to be all alone. I slowly rose and stood feet away from him. The wind picked up and howled adding to the dramatic moment of it all.

  “Are you—”

  “They say it’s going to be like a hurricane.”

  Alright? I wanted to finish.

  “That really sucks. I…”

  “Well, I’ll leave you. After all, you hate me.”

  I couldn’t speak or call out after him because the truth is, I didn’t know how to handle any of this. I ’d thought he was out asleep and was planning on speaking to him in the morning for the first time. And now I just made a mess saying stupid things, and now he’s gone again. I had no idea where he disappeared to in the grand Rainshaw house, especially since it was very dark.

  But after ten numb minutes, I decided I needed to find him. How the hell was I to focus when that just happened?

  I walked down the quiet hallways looking for him like a scared child. The grand hallways swallowing me, the fear growing due to being an overactive child where I always created monsters and creatures that lurked in the corners.

  Finally, I smelled him before I saw him. The smell of cigars, a favorite pasttime of his and his father. Together.

  I pushed the door open, the creak announcing my arrival. The man cave had gas lanterns and gave the ambience a vibe I wanted to join. Curiosity, wonder, and undeniable lust. The light of the flame lit his darkened profile, the smoke surrounding the glass. He had started a fire in the fireplace and it was a site I didn’t want to tarnish with words. Could we just face each other and not say anything?

  He sat at a table with a glowing liquid on the rocks in his hand, the backdrop of the storm behind him. And then he looked at me.

  “It wasn’t my fault, you know. I never was the one. My drunken - ass friend did it. You have to believe me.” The cigar made circles and dives from his hand accompanying his rapid confession.

  I blinked back shock from the sudden , in - your - face matter of truth. I walked closer and stood feet away. It was the closest I’d been to him in nearly a decade. He was a man now. A very hot man. I crossed my arms and refused to let my teenager heart to come out. This was a matter that needed to finally be discussed. And it wasn’t a pretty one.

  “Well, why should I? Why do I even matter anymore to you? We’re no longer family.”

  “Look at me. Will you?” He stood up and the tension between us flirted along the lines of danger and insane temptation. I wanted to take a few steps back but the smell of the smoke laced with his cologne made me want to bury my head into his chest, to feel the softness of the robe and the touch of his hands.

  “I’m not bullshitting with you right now. If there’s one thing my dad’s sudden passing taught me , it ’ s that you don’t know how long you have. You’re here right now in this room. You could leave and never speak to me again. But I want you to know one thing— you’re the girl I never could have. And that video of you…” H e sucked in a breath and exhale the smoke.

  “Don’t bring that up , okay?” Earth to Kate. I came to my senses and took a few small steps back. “I don’t want to go emotionally crazy right now. Do you know how much therapy I went through and how many problems that created for me?”

  “Do you know how much therapy and problems that created for me? I was the one forever scared. After I saw your breasts and those sweet moans from you, with your legs spread eagle, teasing me….”

  “I wasn’t teasing you.”

  “Unbeknownst to you. Anyway, I felt like a freaking sicko. I was in love with my stepsister.”

  “In love?”

  “And then you went away to boarding school. I was kept from your sight by Father. You know, he did find out what happened and was mad as hell at me forever.”

  “Oh my god, did—”

  “He didn’t see a thing. I promise.” His voice softened and he slowed his delivery down. “But then you disappeared out of my life. I didn’t even get to tell you I was sorry in person.”

  “And how did that feel? You actually felt something?”

  Bradley

  It stung like a rubber band slapped in my face. The fact that people saw me, saw the man who was heir to the throne , so to speak, but they didn’t know my own wounds of watching my mother die at a young age. I had to keep it together. To be the man of the house. My father hated emotion, any sign of weakness. I was taught since I could remember to be unreadable like a man playing poker. But I had a deep heart. One that for awhile I numbed down. But now it was time to face the facts, to face the person I hurt so I could finally be free to be me.

  It would be a new era for the Rainshaws, one where I call the shots. One where I make amends to those I hurt. One where I make my voice heard and known. No more drowning my sorrows. The way she stood there with the light of the e mbers glowing against her skin, the glow of the light against her innocent eyes, I wanted to undress her and make her feel pleasure that would erase a thousand times over and over again any hurt or shame I brought in to her life. I wanted to pin her arms above her head, and make her come over and over again before showering her with gifts, with luxury, to show her she was a woman to be adored. With a ny other woman, I knew just the right moves. The one or two champagne drinks, the gifts, the fancy trips in my private jet. But she’s different. Those things won’t work with her. They can’t work with her. I’d have to come to her with a different angle.

  She had taken a seat now across from me and poured her own drink and took it like a man. She waited for an answer and I realized I was lost in thought and didn’t know where to take this conversation.

  “Fuck it.”

  “Look, I’m sorry, Bradley. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings like that. It wasn’t nice of me.”

  Seeing her nipples harden in that thin shirt made my junior swell and throb. I was going to have to relieve myself, the pressure was too intense. I would ravage her. So, I had to do what I did best : l eave under false pretense. I cleared my throat, played up the best puppy dog face I could. After all, I had just buried my father.

  The air was silent as I dropped a few cubes into my glass. She could have burned a hole in my head. Every part of my being wanted to lay my pride down and stay in the room. But I had to stay the course. This was the only way with her.

  Pouring my scotch, I stared at the fierce waves from the storm. We w ould be stuck for at least the next three days from the damage and closed roads. One thing was for certain : I had time to defrost her iced - over heart.

  And that’s exactly what I planned to do.

  It would be my mission.

  “Well, if you will excuse me once more .. .”

  I knew exactly what to do.

  I’ve been known to be a rule breaker before. Hell, more than I can count. This one time more wo uld n’t be any different. I could blame it on mourning my father. Or plead being under the influence.

  My adrenaline shot through my veins like a drug and I actually looked forward to this feat. I made my way back to my room like a man on a mission. I changed carefully. Reaching for an empty backpack, I caught my reflection in the mirror. Wearing a beanie low over my eyes, you could still see my brown locks. I knew what to do. Not just any glasses would do, but skiing goggles, and a scarf. And gloves. No fingerprints. To avoid question s from the staff or being seen by anyone in the home, I’d have to put my things on just around the corner outside before I made my grand entrance.

  There wouldn’t be any bulldogs waiting for me.

  No.

  And I could always stage it as an ic icle breaking the system. S
omething like that. Now you’re thinking!

  The library was three miles away. I knew it well. I was often punished to go there during my h igh s chool days. The librarians feared me for the pranks and stupid things I’d done.

  I immediately regretted the hell I’d caused. Making a mental note to myself, I promised to make more than amends with one person this week. A letter of an apology, even a decade later , was in order even if we had already donated a million dollars to their new wing. I shook my head and sighed. I was really becoming a softy.

  “Well…at least we can move forward and turn over a new leaf.”

  “Who are you talking to?”

  Fuck. I spun around.

  It was her. She ’d found me. And she had her sexy glasses on.

  “And what are you…doing? You look ridiculous , you know that ?”

  She looked fucking hot when she wore those glasses, sporting the whole sexy librarian thing. Boy did I want to spin her over a desk and make her see stars as I showed her a thing or two with my free hand. Her eyes grew larger as if waiting for an explanation.

  Right.

  My get - up.

  “I’m going running. It’s a bit stuffy in the house and well, our last conversation didn’t go so well. You look like you’ve got your hands full.” She balanced a giant coffee mug with spiral notebooks, books , and a lantern with a candle lit in it. It was sexy, endearing, and tempting as hell as she stood just inches away from my bedroom. The very place I could take her in right now and show her how I felt instead of tell ing her.

  My athletic pants were thin, and I had to think of something else fast or else have her see my excitement down south.

  “I—”

  “I’m fine , ” s he said short ly , but the deep edge from earlier had seemed to settle. It was her empathy. “I just…anyway,” she cleared her throat and looked down the hallway as if nerves were getting the best of her.

  “I just was making my way back to the study. That stiff drink started to make me sleepy and I can’t afford to sleep right now. This whole internet being down thing has really thrown me for a ringer. All my quotes I needed…I…anyway. So, I just made a fresh pot of coffee with the French press. Thank God it’s a gas oven. I don’t know what I would do otherwise. The staff is asleep. I don’t want to wake them.”

  She was really cute when she was nervous. I remember this side of her well back in the day. She would speak so fast and her ideas would be jumbled. She was so excited and had so much to say. I wanted to just stand there and look at her. I wanted to see how ruffled I could make her before I…I cleared my throat. Stay on track. Almost there.

  “Well, it is two in the morning.”

  “Right. Which, why are you going running in the middle of an ice storm?”

  I opened my mouth to give her some bullshit about needing some air. But her hands waved me down.

  “You know what? It’s none of my business. I actually understand, a bit. Needing the fresh air. A lot has transpired in the last forty-eight hours. And well, I wanted to say, I mean, follow up about what we spoke about in the study…”

  Oh yeah. She was warming up a bit. Just a little bit longer.

  “Don’t worry about it. Let’s talk about it later. I need fresh air. Now.”

  She blew her frustration across some loose bangs.

  “Okay…well, I’ll just be on my way to write this paper. Ice storm or no ice storm, the internet still works in Cape T own and my paper is still expected.” Her tone was heavy.

  She looked worried. Stressed. And I hated seeing her all bent up about a paper. I knew academic success meant the world to her, but I wish ed I could just make her happy. I wish ed I could throw all of her books aside, throw her over my shoulder , and carry her right back to the fireplace and make love to her.

  You’re getting there. One step closer.

  “Oh , I have plenty of Adderall if you need any.”

  “Oh, I’m sure.”

  “It’s not like that. It’s for my ADD.”

  “I didn’t know you had ADD.”

  “Well, there’s a lot that you never got to know , ” I quickly got out.

  “Right, well. I’m going now. Enjoy your cold run. Don’t twist your ankle.”

  One sentence I should have seriously considered carefully. Very carefully.

  Thirty minutes later…

  It was one of those fire alarms, screeching , ringing bells type of security that welcomed me as I broke into one of the side windows. I staged a branch to “fall into the window . ” As I fell on the floor rolling around like a bad ass , I wish ed someone could witness my skills. If this CEO thing d id n’t work out forever, maybe I’d enlist in being a bad ass special ops agent. I enjoyed the thrill , that was for sure.

  I had to stifle the goofy grin . I was on a mission : g rab every book I could on Thoreau and Emerson and stash them in the bag. Running around the library, I finally found my way to the American poets. It was a small library, but one well - stocked since the community was, well, a bunch of intellectuals.

  My fingers scrolled across the many titles and I finally settled on a few. After grabbing everything I could manage to stuff in my pack, I zipped up the bag and made my way out of the window. Mission accomplished.

  As I picked up my jog, I couldn’t wait to see the look on her face as I solved her problems. Hopefully, she’d run into my arms and I could feel her body against mine before trailing my hands across her shoulders, a soft graze down the small of her back. Oh yeah. She’d pull away and I’d leave my hand on the side of her waist, letting her feel my firm grip, before innocently but very suggestively trailing my thumb across her lower stomach. I’d….

  W h am.

  I hit the ground just like that. A ice covered fall tree limb laid in wait for my demise. And just like that I was down on the ground.

  Fuck.

  It hurt like hell.

  I could feel my ankle pounding and swelling instantly and there was no one I could fucking call. The cell phones were all down.

  Kate

  I was seriously , really fucked . T here was no way to finish this paper now. I was ten seconds away from searching for his Adderall to cure my wandering thoughts. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t numb this feeling.

  He told me he loved me.

  That I teased him.

  That I was the girl he never could have.

  My heartbeat quickened and my racing thoughts sought to understand what it all meant. What would happen when he came back? Was the ball in my court now?

  Did I dare tell him how I felt?

  Ugh!

  After going back and forth in my mind like a ping pong match, I was insanely aware of the lingering time; he was not back yet.

  Had something happened to him? He was in a great deal of pressure with work. Was someone lying in wait to trap him? To bend him to their will with physical means? Could someone have the bloodthirsty means of actually …killing him?

  My overactive imagination pictured the worst headline possible. Two Rainshaws dead within two days of each other. Sinister play sus pected of the youngest.

  “Where the hell is he?” I blew out worried steam and tapped my p e n against the note pad, trying to rid myself of such morbid, irrational thoughts. There was not a single clock on the wall so the time could not be read. My poor phone on airplane mode was hanging on for dear life. At 4% the white numbers eerily read 4:15 AM . It was almost dawn. I couldn’t call him because the stupid lines were down from the ice storm. And it was going to get worse.

  I shivered as I wrapped my shaking arms. I shook my head to shake my thoughts. My breathing had heavily increased from my overactive imagination. I could see the fog escape my breath.

  Suddenly a deep hum rattled and the lights flickered back on. It was like lighting up Time s Square. In an instant , the home’s electricity returned to normal , which meant the generator must have finally decided to work.

  Thank goodness.

  Naturally I went to
my laptop in an eager attempt to pull up my school e - mail, a brief distraction from my worry, praying to God the internet worked.

  Nothing.

  No signal.

  Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore and made a mad dash to my room.

  Bundling up , I grabbed my ski coat left from God knows when, and I grabbed everything possible to that would keep me warm from the incoming storm. With my flashlight in tow, I opened the front door.

  It was the type of quiet one expects in the middle of nature. The type of solace where tree branches knocked and trunks hummed from wind.

  The ice was falling heavier now and I secured my hood to brace the storm.

  I trekked down the driveway to the security guard’s base. A twenty-four- hour officer guarded the estate at all times.

  “Can I help you , Mrs. Rainshaw?”

  My heart dropped to my toes. I did get that sometimes. People often said my mom and I were sisters. After all, why wouldn’t I be confused for her ? I w as never there at the Manor. The staff probably forgot I even existed! But just hearing that last name, my cheeks flushed and I felt like a little silly schoolgirl playing M . A . S . H . , trying on your crush’s last name.

  “Actually , it's Kate.”

  “Oh , forgive me. I'm sorry , I thought your mother had taken a Xanax and a sleeping pill and maybe dr a nk too much and was now walking around in a sleepy , drunken oblivion.”

  “Well as you know, that did happen on—”

  “Season two , ” h e cut in and finished for me , h is jolly laughter lifting the air like Christmas magic.

  It was a hilarious moment in which my mother really caused a scene while she was on one of those H ousewives trips. One that the entire world saw , that took me awhile to lighten up to and actually think it was hilarious, as well.

  “I’m, um… looking for Bradley. Have you seen him?”

  “You know, I did. He said he was going running , t hat he needed to clear his mind . A nd given what happened with his father I didn't even think it strange.”